Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Mom Guilt: It starts early

I swear I've had mom guilt from day one. Literally from the day I got the positive pregnancy test. I was elated for about 30 seconds, then distraught that I drank martinis with my co-workers three days prior. The horror! Only a terribly tragic mother would be unable to sense a tiny growing ball of cells in her uterus and curb her drinking appropriately.

As it turns out, practically every life decision is associated with some sort of pregnancy mini-crisis. You got the flu shot? Autism! You cleaned your bathroom with Clorox? Brain damage! You allowed minor home renovations? Lead poisioning!

On Sunday I used bug spray while hanging out in a friend's backyard. I just didn't want to be itchy, but failed to read the pregnancy skin care memo that proclaims DEET is the devil. I then spent a good portion of the following morning sobbing that I had irreversibly screwed up my baby.

And yesterday, I ate a ham sandwich. Sure did. Nitrates and listeria be damned. Sometimes I girl just wants a f'ing ham sandwich. It was good too. But wait... are those flu-like symptoms coming on? Do I have a fever? Why does my stomach feel like that? Damn you, delicious ham sandwich. Damn you.

Pregnancy is exausting.

3 comments:

  1. It's about 100% worse when you have the child...

    just a heads up.

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  2. Ok, do need to comment on this....FLU SHOTS (and all other vaccines) DO NOT CAUSE AUTISM!! --love your friendly pediatric nurse practitioner :)

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  3. Right after I gave birth to my first daughter, my really good friend Jill - who had already been through this three times - said, "Has the mom guilt kicked in yet?" Let's just say that that comment opened up my floodgates and I spent the next hour telling her all about the ways I was certain my baby was doomed. She just laughed and said, "When it hits again, just call me." And I did, every time I had mom guilt (which meant I was calling her fifty times a day...lol). Now that my two girls are three and five, it's a bit easier. And my girls are healthy and happy - just like your child will be!

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Thanks for reading!