I'm A Believer

You may remember a few weeks ago when I posted about dealing with breakouts. I've been blessed with extraordinarily clear skin (even as a teenager), but things changed drastically for me post-partum. All of a sudden I found myself with numerous breakouts a month. It was as if my skin changed overnight and I simply didn't know how to care for it. So I sent out a virtual SOS, asking for suggestions on skin products. I tried a few different things, but one product line emerged as the clear winner...

Philosophy On A Clear Day Skin System

Seriously. This stuff is amazing. I saw noticeable improvement in my existing breakouts within one week. And by two weeks, my skin was all but clear again.

I started with the On A Clear Day Skin System, which includes a cleanser, all-over acne treatment, acne spot treatment, and retinol clarifying lotion. Per the recommendation of the woman at Sephora, I also picked up some Hope In A Jar Oil-Free Moisturizer. Twice a day, I wash my face with the cleanser and apply the all-over acne treatment (for large breakouts) or spot treatment (for more isolated breakouts) as needed. At night, I use the retinol lotion provided in the kit, which helps even skin tone and lighten scars from old breakouts. In the morning, I use the oil-free moisturizer before applying my foundation. Three steps, twice a day. It's as easy as that.

Shout out to my friend and fellow-writer Mandy for the recommendation. This stuff is pricy, but it works. I'm now a believer. A devoted follower of all things Philosophy.

P.S. I was in no way compensated by Philosophy for this review. Opinions are my own. And awesome, if I do say so myself.

The Ass Hat

Will and I are both sick today... coughing, runny nose, the works. It's hard enough to take care of a baby when you don't feel well, but when you both don't feel well, it's awful.

We've had lots of books, naps and snuggle time today, but we had to venture out of the house to run one errand: I had to cancel my gym membership.

I hate the gym. I'm just not a gym person, so while the gym should be a great motivator to get in shape, it's just something I resent. I decided about three weeks into our new membership that I'd much rather walk the dog, or take a yoga class, or go for a run. The gym just had to go. I was done with it.

But today is the last day of January, and if I didn't cancel today, I'd have the stupid gym membership for another whole month. So off we we went... me with my glasses and hacking cough, and Will with his snot faucet of a nose. We were quite a pair.

When I reached the customer service desk and told them I wanted to quit, the overly perky gym guy says, "Oh no! Why?"

To which I replied, "It's just not a good fit for me."

He sort of looks me over, in my sweat pants and mussed up hair with a sick toddler on my hip, and says "Well maybe if you kept your membership you would start feeling better."

Seriously, buddy? Just cancel my damn membership and stop being such an ass hat.

So Will and I went home and took a nap. Way better than some stupid gym anyway.

Interim Break: Let's just call it a "half success"

Proof that I did accomplish something over interim break

Gah. I can't believe interim break is over in just a few short days. I had such a lovely six week break from reading scholarly articles and writing research papers. Alas, I have already started receiving assignments from my professors for next week.

So although I technically have a few days remaining, I'm going to throw in the towel and report on my interim break goals...

1. Read three "fun" books (i.e. books that aren't assigned for grad school) — SUCCESS! I read five books actually... The Hunger Games (Suzanne Collins), Catching Fire (Suzanne Collins), Mockingjay (Suzanne Collins), The Night Circus (Erin Morgenstern) and Enrique's Journey (Sonia Nazario). All were fabulous (and read on my new Kindle!). I read the Hunger Games trilogy in literally five days. What can I say? I love young adult fiction. The Night Circus was both spooky and whimsical. I found it similar to work by Audrey Niffengger, who I love. And Enrique's Journey was an incredibly powerful portrayal of Central American boy's quest to find his mother, who came to the United States to try and provide a better life for him. It's also the Go Big Read book selection for 2012.
2. Organize the hall closet, coat closet and laundry room closet — Half success. The hall closet is done (see photo above). And the coat closet is better. But the laundry room closet is still a disaster.
3. Organize the basement and garage — FAIL. Ben did clean up the garage somewhat, but we need some shelves to really organize things. And we didn't even touch the basement. Oh well. Perhaps we'll try again over spring break.
4. Paint Will's bed side table and book shelves — FAIL. But this isn't entirely my fault. The shelves are still on back order at IKEA. And I don't see the point of painting the bedside table now if I just have to get out all the supplies to paint the book shelves later.
5. Plan out Will's activity schedule for the winter/spring — SUCCESS! Will and I go to story time on Tuesdays and music class on Thursdays. For bonus points, I also called about some two year old preschool options for the fall.
6. Finish Will's 7-12 month baby book — Half success. I think I literally worked on one page. Sigh. But this is one thing I really, really want to finish before Monday. So hopefully I'll have this checked off by the end of the weekend.
7. Start Will's 12-18 month baby book — FAIL. Didn't even start a new project in Shutterfly.
8. Blog at least 3 times a week — SUCCESS! I did pretty darn good over break, don't you think?
9. Start working out at least 3 times a week — FAIL. We did join a gym, but I've only been there twice in the last month. I have been going to yoga and pilates occasionally, but not nearly enough to make my weekly goal.

Unsolicited Advice (Sorry, Amy)

My friend Amy is in her third trimester and the poor dear keeps getting tons of unsolicited advice from me. Amy, I'm so sorry. It's just that I've been on this baby island alone for so long, I feel the need to impart my wisdom anywhere and everywhere I can.

So when I came across this post by Laura at My Thoughts - Uninterrupted, I just had to share. Her insights are spot on. I will, however, add the following...

1) No stage lasts forever. I know it feels like you will never sleep again and the baby will never, ever stop fussing. But trust me, they grow out of it. Even Will, who was seriously sleep challenged and unbelievably colicky, has transformed into an excellent sleeper with a sweet and silly disposition. So do the best you can to weather each storm as it comes. This too shall pass.

2) Breastfeeding is hard. This was easily the most shocking part of new motherhood for me. Breastfeeding is really hard! No one old me that my nipples would be so sore that it would hurt to wear a bra, or that without the right latch they would crack and bleed, or that nursing could take up to an hour. I wholeheartedly believe in breastfeeding. In fact, I wish Will and I could have done it longer. But if you want to breastfeed, make sure you have a ton of support - from your partner, your friends, a lactation consultant, a local La Leche League group, wherever. Just get people behind you that are sympathetic to the challenges and want you to succeed.

3) Sleep when the baby sleeps. This is way easier said than done, I know, but seriously. You need to sleep when the baby sleeps. At least in the beginning. Laundry and dishes and vacuuming can wait. Just lay down in your bed when the baby is sleeping. Even if you're reading a magazine or watching TV. Just physically lay down and let yourself rest. The baby will be up at 3:00 AM before you know it, and you'll be glad you took moments to rest during the day.

4) Join a group for new moms. For the same reason you need breastfeeding support, you also need new mom support. And while your friends with kids know what you're going through, it's super important to make friends who are actually going through it with you. I attended a moms club at a local hospital after Will was born. Not only did it give me somewhere to be during the week (bonus!), but it also allowed me to make friends with moms who had kids around Will's age. Because though your friend/sister/cousin/co-worker with kids gets it, you need people in your life who are actually living the same stage as you.

5) It's OK to need a breather. At the height of Will's colic our pediatrician told me, "Babies don't cry to death. When it's getting to be too much, it's OK to put him down and take a breather." I only had to do this once, but it was nice to know that it was an option. When you can't take it anymore, put the baby somewhere safe (crib, bassinet, pack and play, etc) and take 5 minutes to just breathe. The baby will be fine while you pull yourself together. Cry, blast music on your iPod, take a quick shower, whatever. Just know it's OK to need a break, even if that means the baby cries (safely) for a few minutes.

6) Don't get obsessed with developmental milestones. I read the following by an early-childhood education expert... "Children are like popcorn. They all pop, just at different times." Every kid is unique. An average is an average because there are kids on both sides of the spectrum. I actually got rid of my What To Expect the First Year book. Will was often late on many of their milestone dates, which led me to panic about his development. Yes, you need to be aware of where your child is so you can intervene early if there are problems. And yes, you should discuss your concerns with your pediatrician. But don't freak if your kid doesn't meet milestones exactly when the book says they will. You know your child better than a book. Let them develop at their own pace.

That's my two cents. How 'bout it mamas? Any other recommendations you'd like to share?

Au revoir, April

April, you've been kind of intense.

I submitted three papers for my grad school class, wrote an article for my new freelance gig, got our house ready to sell, started looking for a new place to live, went to two birthday parties and one baby shower, traveled home to Minnesota, and made two pies for Easter. Not to mention the great contraception failure of 2011, which led Ben and I to panic about possibly being pregnant for the majority of the month (thank God, we're not).

So April, it's been real. But I'm looking forward to May.

Peace.

For Ben

I know these last few weeks haven't been easy on you. At nine months pregnant, I'm a hormonal mess. I cry at the drop of the hat, grumble constantly about how uncomfortable I am, and lose my temper in a fraction of a second. I get so frustrated with you sometimes. You don't say the right things, you need to be nicer, blah, blah, blah. The truth is you're not doing anything wrong. I'm frustrated with everyone. But as my partner, you bear the brunt of my mood swings. I'm sorry for that.

I don't feel like myself anymore. And as hard as that is for me, it must be equally as hard for you. Who is this person? What did she do with my wife? After my meltdown last night, I expected you and Stella to be half way to Canada by the time I got home. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

I want you to know you're a wonderful partner. You make me laugh. You tell me I'm beautiful. You make me dinner when I'm exausted from working all day. You move at a snail's pace so I can join you and Stella on an evening walk. You remind me to put my feet up and drink plenty of water. You offer to drive to Pick 'N Save at 9:30 at night to get me rice pudding with raisins. You rub my back when I'm falling asleep. You kiss me like you mean it. And you love me unconditionally. Even this swollen, irritable, gigantic version of me. And that says a lot.

We're in the home stretch now. I love you so much.

Overheard

"Next time, let's not be nine months pregnant during the hottest month of the year."

As if that's not the understatement of the century.

Pillow? What pillow?

Good thing she's cute.

In no particular order

A few random thoughts and recent occurances...

1. I haven't worn pants with a zipper since April. Just sayin'.
2. About half way through my iced coffee this morning, I got really jittery and the baby started moving like crazy. Yep, Starbuck's definately missed the "decaf" part of my order. I haven't had caffeine since November... now I remember what I'm missing.
3. Though Ben believes weeding is an excellent (and utilitarian) way to practice birth exercises, I can't say that squatting in my front yard for an hour or two sounds very appealing.
4. While the rest of Wisconsin welcomes the official start of summer, I am cursing the hot weather and the stupidly swollen ankles that come along with it.
5. The baby has been getting hiccups lately. Super cute and incredibly distracting.

What was I going to write about again?

Pregnancy brain is totally a real thing. Case and point: completely forgot about breakfast date with friends J and T this morning. Completely forgot. Even though we talked about it at least three times this past week. And I was really, really excited for a frittata.

Then today I got this little tidbit from my weekly What To Expect e-mail...

Forgetfulness: No wonder your brain feels especially foggy these days — hormones are wreaking havoc on your memory and your brain-cell volume actually decreases during the third trimester. Try not to take this temporary pregnancy symptom to heart — stressing about it will only cloud your pregnancy brain even more.

At least it's an actual documented problem. But it still makes you feel like a crazy person. Especially type-A, hyper-organized me. I never forget things.

So please don't hesitate to remind me of any plans we have. Chances are it's stuck somewhere between "maybe cloth diapers are a better option" and "what am I going to eat for lunch?"

Mom Guilt: It starts early

I swear I've had mom guilt from day one. Literally from the day I got the positive pregnancy test. I was elated for about 30 seconds, then distraught that I drank martinis with my co-workers three days prior. The horror! Only a terribly tragic mother would be unable to sense a tiny growing ball of cells in her uterus and curb her drinking appropriately.

As it turns out, practically every life decision is associated with some sort of pregnancy mini-crisis. You got the flu shot? Autism! You cleaned your bathroom with Clorox? Brain damage! You allowed minor home renovations? Lead poisioning!

On Sunday I used bug spray while hanging out in a friend's backyard. I just didn't want to be itchy, but failed to read the pregnancy skin care memo that proclaims DEET is the devil. I then spent a good portion of the following morning sobbing that I had irreversibly screwed up my baby.

And yesterday, I ate a ham sandwich. Sure did. Nitrates and listeria be damned. Sometimes I girl just wants a f'ing ham sandwich. It was good too. But wait... are those flu-like symptoms coming on? Do I have a fever? Why does my stomach feel like that? Damn you, delicious ham sandwich. Damn you.

Pregnancy is exausting.

Welcome back, feet

My feet have returned to their normal size. Sigh. I feel so much better.

It's hard to focus, let alone get things accomplished, when you're really, really ridiculously swollen. And hot. Swollen and hot are not a good combo for anyone.

But the humidity has dipped way down, and they're forecasting evening temps in the 50s tonight. Sleeping with the windows open again will thrill me beyond belief.

"Glowing" or some other term to make pregnant women feel less disgusting

I've never really been one to sweat. Even when exercising. Sure my face will get pink and my hair line will get a little damp. But I never really sweat.

Until now. Except it's not sweating when you're pregnant, it's "glowing". As if that's supposed to make it better. Well let me tell you... I "glow" like a pig.

We've had approximately 3 days of warm, summer weather. And I've been 100% miserable (and especially irritable) since. I'm hot all the time. I "glow" at my desk. In the car. Sitting on the couch. I feel so gross. I have a feeling I'll be taking showers three times a day pretty quick.

Needless to say, I'm really excited to be in my third trimester for the three hottest months of the year. Fair warning, Ben... our electric bill is going to be insane. I'm running the air conditioner 24/7.

Not cute

Those are some truly glorious roots.

I last had my hair highlighted on November 7. That was 16 weeks ago. Just to put it in perspective, I typically color my hair every 8-10 weeks. But it's not safe to get your hair highlighted in the first trimester. So like any good mother-to-be, I waited. And waited. Luckily I'm tall, so most people can't see the top of my head.

But my doctor gave me the go-ahead at our last appointment. So I'm booking it to Salon Panache in Winona this weekend to have Wendy work her magic.

I believe I'm allowed to be a hot mama. And for this mother-to-be, that includes highlights.

Holy Hormones

The hormones have taken over my body.

It started with small episodes, mostly when I was tired. Nothing a nap or good night sleep couldn't fix. But now, I'll pretty much cry at anything. On Friday night, I started sobbing because Ben didn't make my carrots the way I wanted. And this afternoon, I cried while watching the Miss America Pageant.

Yes, you read that correctly, the Miss America Pageant. What makes this even more ridiculous, is that I can't stand pageants. I think they are degrading and superficial, and if they really wanted to emphasize scholarship, they wouldn't require women to have perfect figures and walk around in swimsuits. But I digress.

I was channel surfing this morning and came across a rebroadcast of the pageant on TLC. It was the part in the beginning where they all share a pithy anecdote about their state of origin. And as these women introduced themselves, I started crying. Crying. Because some twisted part of me started thinking about how this night is fulfilling a dream many of them have (misguidedly) had since they were little girls.

To add even more emotion to the mix, I then started laughing. While crying. It was kind of funny. I mean, who cries over the Miss America Pageant?