Will's Big Boy Room

In November, we moved Will from his crib to a twin bed. Which was basically just an excuse to totally redo his room.  :)

I don't really like rooms that are too "theme-y", but I wanted some sort of cohesive element throughout the decor. In selecting pieces for his new space, I found myself being drawn to nautical elements like boats, anchors and the color navy. So I ran with it...

Big boy bed

Burlap pennant

Reading nook

I really love the way the space turned out. The bed (no longer available in white) was a bit of a splurge, but the quality is exceptional. Seriously, this thing will easily last though two kids.

I found the duvet cover at West Elm (no longer available), and ordered the artwork from Etsy. The anchor pillow and the burlap name pennant came from a darling little shop I visited while in Louisville.

Arguably the coolest part of his room is the reading nook. I first saw the concept on Pinterest and immediately fell in love. The shelves (actually spice racks from Ikea) came in a natural pine color, but we painted them white to match the other furniture.

Will had been sleeping in a converted crib since he was 19 months old, so the transition to the twin bed was no big thing. For a few days prior we talked about how he would be getting a new bed and new room. The evening of the big transition, he had a sleepover at Grandma and Grandpa's so we could get everything ready. When we got home the next day, he immediately climbed into his new bed and asked to be covered up. After pretending to go to sleep, he got up, announced "it's morning!" and proceeded to his reading nook to read a few books. It's been smooth sailing (and many restful nights) ever since.

One thing that I believe helped with the overall transition was completely disassembling his crib and putting it in the basement. We didn't want Will to feel like he was getting kicked out of his crib or that the baby "took" his bed, so we felt it was important to remove the crib completely, essentially removing it as a sleeping option. It would have been way easier to just move the crib into the spare room, but we wanted it out of sight and out of mind. Hopefully when we bring the crib back upstairs for BG's nursery, he won't even remember that it was his.

UPDATE: I've had a couple of people ask about the bumpers on Will's bed. You'll notice we didn't do an external bedrail (I personally hate the way they look), but we didn't want to risk Will rolling out of bed every night. Instead, we elected to use these soft bumpers. They go between the mattress pad and the fitted sheet. They're soft enough for him to climb over comfortably, but keep him contained while he's sleeping. We love them... highly recommend!

29 Years Old

I actually wrote this right after my birthday last month, but never posted it. My friend Maggie did this for her 29th earlier this year. I am unabashedly stealing the idea. (Thanks, Maggie! xoxo)

I make a point to chronicle Will's growth and development (almost) every month, but what about my own? I turned 29 on Tuesday (March 20), and I took a moment to reflect on the year that was. Here are my thoughts, which I hope I will find endlessly entertaining 10 years from now.

What did you read?

Almost all of my reading was dedicated to graduate school. The stuff I enjoyed the most was on adult learning theory, technology trends, and student retention initiatives. I fully understand that your eyes just glazed over (Ben, I'm talking to you). But I love it, thus why I'm studying it.

I did find a little time for fun reading over interim breaks, which allowed me to read the Hunger Games trilogy (Suzanne Collins), Enrique's Journey (Sonia Nazario), Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me And Other Concerns (Mindy Kaling), Run (Ann Patchett), and The Night Circus (Erin Morgenstern). Although I have traditionally preferred reading nonfiction or classics, I'm definitely in a contemporary fiction phase. I attribute this largely to the amount of scholarly reading I do on a monthly basis. Fiction provides an escape.

What did you watch?

TV shows I obsessed over this year include: Downton Abbey (PBS) and Sons of Anarchy (FX). We also watch a ton of old shows on Netflix. I'm still working through Brothers & Sisters, but I got through all the seasons of Gossip Girl and the one glorious season of My So Called Life early this year.

What did you do with your spare time?

Ha. Ha, ha. Oh, that's a serious question.

Well, if you define "spare" time as time not used working or being with my family, I guess most of my "spare" time goes to graduate school. I typically do most of my homework between the hours of 8:00 and 11:00 PM, so that leaves little time for a social life if I also want to see my husband, sleep and be up with my kid at 7:00 AM.

When I do manage to get out, it's usually for drinks, dinner or a run. All of which I enjoy. All of which help me chill out and reconnect with myself.

Where did you go?

We haven't taken a real vacation in years. Years. We did go to Door County last summer, but we had to cut our trip short to close on our new house. I visited my dear high school girlfriends in St. Paul for our annual sleepover. And made countless trips (at least once a month) back to my parents' house in Minnesota. We also spent some time in Madison for football games, and one particularly raucous hockey game.

What thrilled you?

Selling our house in just a month! We had a kick ass realtor, and I had that place staged damn cute. We worked our butts off for that offer, but we did it. And we love our new place.

What scared you?

My Mom and Dad were both in really serious car accidents. Mom vs. ditch in November and Dad vs. car going 55 MPG while on his motorcycle in March (just two days before my birthday, in fact).

What are you most proud of?

Juggling it all - mom, wife, student, professional, informed citizen. It's not always pretty, but most days I'm making it work.

What would you do over?

I need to figure out how to say yes to less. Just because an opportunity is exciting, doesn't mean I have to do it. I need to prioritize and find focus.

If I could go back, I would also obsess less over Will's helmet. Although it felt very major at the time, it really was such a relatively short period of time. I'm glad we did it and I'm glad it's over. But it wasn't worth all my worry and tears. We made it through, his head is beautiful, and everyone is fine.


How's married life?

I need to find more time for Ben. He often gets overlooked in the chaos. But I love him with all my heart. He's the one person who can always make me laugh, let me cry, etc. He just "gets" me. And at the end of the day, there's no one I'd rather snuggle up next to.

How's parenthood?

Will is, without a doubt, the greatest thing I will ever do with my life. The toddler stage can be trying at times, but more often than not, it's a blast. I love this age way more than having an infant. Watching him learn and interact with the world is so awesome.

How's work?

Work is crazy busy. In case you haven't been keeping track, I now have two part-time jobs and a full-time graduate student schedule. Insane! Every day is an exercise on finding balance. I'm still learning, and trying to figure out how to prioritize.

What's next?

The next year is poised to be a big one... I'm graduating in December, and Ben and I have started talking about having another baby. I really don't want to start trying until after I'm done with school, but hopefully I will have some fun baby news to share before my next birthday. Not to mention that birthday will be a big one... 30 (eek!).

Big Boy Bed

Freedom!

About two weeks ago, Ben was home with Will for the afternoon while Mama was at work. Ben heard Will wake up. He was talking happily to himself and then all of a sudden... THUMP!

Yep, that's right. My 19 month old fell out of his crib.

Ben said it was the most awful sound he's ever heard, not to mention the crying that followed. Poor, Will! According to Ben, it looked like he had the wind knocked out of him. But it was nearly a four foot fall, so we shouldn't be surprised.

Needless to say, this freaked the hell out of Ben and I. He could have been seriously hurt! Not to mention, we weren't really expecting to have the "big boy bed" transition quite yet. I honestly thought we had until well after Will turned two.

No such luck. The same day as the great crib accident of 2012, Ben removed the side of Will's crib and installed the toddler bed converter (shown above). No real preparation for Mama, Daddy or Will. Just a decision to put safety first. Because, let's be honest. If he did it once, odds are he will do it again.

Thankfully, the transition has been smooth for the most part. Overnights were no problem from day one. Mostly because it's dark in his room at night, and I think he forgets he can get out. That and he's genuinely exhausted after being a busy toddler all day.

Naps have been a little more challenging, but he's getting it. The first day, it took 90 minutes to get him to fall asleep because he kept getting out and testing his new boundaries (and Mama's patience).

That day, we made the decision to remove all toys from his room, except books and stuffed animals. Ben and I both decided that we don't care if he plays quietly in his room before taking a nap, but we need him to understand that he sleeps in his bed (not on the floor). So we employ some version of Ferberizing, where we go in every 5-10 minutes, remind him that it's time to sleep and put him back in bed. We let him keep whatever he's playing with, but he needs to do it in bed.

Since that first day, naps have gotten much easier. There are definitely some days where I have to go in there three or more times to return him to his bed, but he generally doesn't complain about it. He even climbs in his bed and tells us when he's sleepy now (which is super cute, by the way).

So if you're nearing the point where you're going to convert your crib or get a toddler bed, here are our tips:

1) Remove most toys from the room. We elected to leave quiet toys in there, but his train table had to go. There was no way he was going to stay in bed with that kind of distraction.

2) Keep things as familiar as possible. We have a convertible crib, so despite taking off the crib wall, everything else stayed exactly the same. I think having his mattress, bedding and stuffed animals as they were before really helped with the transition.

3) Keep calm. That first nap was really, really trying. I had to do everything in my power to stay cool, even when he scampered out of bed immediately after I put him down. We didn't want him to see his bed as a punishment or something being forced on him, but we also wanted to establish clear boundaries and bedtime behavior. Patience and consistency was so important (but really, isn't it always in parenthood?).

Ten Months Old

Dear Will,

I know I'm beginning to sound like a broken record, but oh my gosh, you are sooooooo busy. You're here! Then there! You want to see this! Now that! Up, Mama! No, down! Let's play with this now! Etc, etc. This busy-streak also means you are super fun, but I literally collapse in bed every night after you go to sleep. Parenting a ten month old is exhausting!

Because you're so busy, diaper changes have become a bit of a challenge. You twist, turn and roll as I try and wrestle a cloth diaper on you. Needless to say, it's a workout for both of us.

Though you're still not crawling on your hands and knees, you started "naughty crawling" when you're trying to reach something you're not supposed to have (i.e. Stella's dog toys, Mama's cell phone, miscellaneous small items that somehow end up on the floor). You drag your belly on the ground in hyper-drive, giggling and gasping in excitement. This actually draws more attention to you, meaning I'm almost always able to intercept you before you get to whatever you're trying to reach. But it's really cute.

You have a complete and total obsession with dog bowls. Wherever we are, you manage to find the dog bowl and want to inspect it. You know their exact location at home and at Grandma's house, and will try anything and everything to get someone to take you over by them. Your persistence is admirable.

You love water, which likely drives your bowl obsession. You love to splash in the tub, put your hands under a running faucet, or swim in your "wimmy pool" at Grandma's house.

You haven't been the best eater in the last month. You literally will not touch anything that resembles a vegetable, insisting on only fruits or yogurt. We attempted to introduce meat purees this month, which was an epic fail. You hated the texture, and actually vomited after trying chicken. I felt so awful.

You play with your food now more than you eat it. You love to play tiddlywinks with your puffs and drop food on the floor for Stella. You want to bang the spoon on your high chair more than eat with it. And finishing a bottle takes forever since we have to stop every few ounces to bounce or play.

You share food now, which is so sweet. I'll ask you, "can Mama have puff?" And you'll smile really big, gingerly pick up a puff and put it in my mouth. I'm so proud that you're sharing already.

You started clapping on your own this past month. Usually in response to other people clapping, or Mama and Daddy saying "yay!" You love the sound you hands make, and always clap with a big smile on your face.

You're starting to pull to stand, but tend to get your legs and feet tangled up beneath you. Right now, you try and pull up entirely with your upper body, so getting up is a bit of struggle. When you succeed (or when Mama helps you) you are so proud of yourself. You love to stand perched by the coffee table or in your crib.

Grandpa calls you "Bam Bam" because you bang objects on everything. Doesn't matter what it is, if there is a flat surface to hit, you find something to hit it with. You also like to put objects in things, namely your blocks in an old Charlie's Soap container, which we were using as a make-shift drum.

We read every day. I love how you snuggle into my lap and touch the illustrations on each page. "Very Hungry Caterpillar" is still your favorite book, but "Hello, Bugs!" and "Does A Kangaroo Have A Mother Too?" are also very heavy in our rotation. When we're reading, you turn the page when I ask you to (and sometimes before). I love to see you engaged with your books.

Every month, I am amazed by how much you accomplish. It's such a joy to watch you grow. I love you so much.

Love,

Mama

No, actually. But your insensitivity is mind-boggling.

You may remember this post from earlier this year, in which someone told me that Will's flat head was my fault and I cried in the car. Yeah, that sucked.

There are a lot of misconceptions about brachycephaly, including that it's caused by parental neglect. People assume that this condition happens because parents don't hold their children enough, restrict them to a swing/car seat, etc. This couldn't be farther from the truth.

Most people are awesome about Will's helmet. They comment on how cute he is (naturally), how much he seems to like it (he's a champ), and that he must be a Badger fan (well, yeah). Some people avert their eyes or tell their children not to stare. And others are just plain rude. Thankfully, those experiences have been few and far between. But unfortunately I had another one this week.

We were checking out at Walgreen's yesterday when the little girl behind us asked her mother, "why does that baby have that?"

To which the mother replied, "because his parents didn't hold him enough."

Now I've come a long way since the initial incident at the grocery store. Both in terms of my own acceptance and understanding of Will's condition. So I took it upon myself to educate this horribly rude woman, right there in line at Walgreen's.

"Hi, this is Will," I said as I turned around with a smile. "He's almost nine months old."

Then I looked at the mother and said, "He's a beautiful, curious, busy little boy. I am a good parent and an attentive mother. I didn't do anything to cause this. Just like you, I want the world for my child."

She fumbled with her words, clearly embarrassed that I had overheard her (but duh, we were literally two feet from her). So I said to the little girl, "It looks like you have a nice round head. Baby Will's head is too flat, so he's wearing this helmet to make his head look round like yours."

To which she replied, "does it hurt?"

"No," I said. "It doesn't hurt."

"Does he have hair?" she asked.

"A little," I said with a smile. "He gets more every day."

"That's good. Hair's really important."

"That's true!" I said with a laugh. "You have beautiful hair."

The mother still hadn't managed to form any sort of coherent sentence to me, so I wished the little girl a nice day, paid the cashier and left.

This woman's insensitivity is still mind-boggling to me. But it affirms how important it is for Ben and I to model appropriate behaviors for Will. He's learning from us every day, so we have to be the people we want him to be. We have to show kindness, compassion and respect. We have to reserve judgement and give others the benefit of the doubt. We have to stand up for ourselves, and not let the actions of others tear us down.

We have to be the best we can be. Perhaps even better than we thought was possible. It's a tall order, but Will's the ultimate motivator.

When we grow up

I'm a creature of habit. So we typically take Stella on the same walk every evening... past the park, around the Paine Art Center and Gardens, through campus and back home.

We often pass a sweet older couple a few blocks into our route. Their house and yard is immaculate, in the way only a retiree's property can be. They sit in two lawn chairs in the shade of their driveway, taking in the sights and sounds of the neighborhood.

Every time we go by, they always comment on what a beautiful dog Stella is. We smile, say thank you, and wish them a good evening. It's a moment I've started to look forward to. I find myself disappointed when they're not outside as we pass.

I don't know their names. I don't know their story. But I hope that will be Ben and I in 50 years. Enjoying each others company, and making the day of a young family out for their evening walk.

Weekend Wrap: The car-shopping, emotional-breakdown, new-remodeling-project, dog-eats-a-bird edition

It was a wild weekend.

I had an emotional meltdown after our three hour car shopping extravaganza on Saturday. Part valid frustration, part pregnancy hormones.

It concluded with me crying in the Noodles & Co. parking lot about how everything is changing, and I just want to keep my car, and we don't need another car payment anyway, and Stella will just have to figure out how to fit in back with the baby. Cue Ben looking bewildered and slightly frightened. Luckily I had just eaten, or it would have been epic. I'm even scarier when I'm hungry.

Then we came up with the brilliant idea to knock a hole in the side of our house. Oh perfect. Because we all know that when you think Ben and Sam, you think prompt remodeling project.

The plan: sliding door off the dining room, new deck and fenced-in backyard. Which will require a nice big hole in the side of our house. I can't even imagine what kind of plaster disaster is lurking behind those ancient walls.

But the highlight of the chaos came on Sunday. When Stella caught a morning dove. In her mouth. Still alive.

We all know that I hate birds. They terrify me. Something about their wings and my hair. Or their sharp beaks and beaty little eyes. Or all the diseases they carry. G-R-O-S-S.

So when Stella caught the bird I was conflicted by running to the safety of the house, and getting the bird away from her so she didn't eat it.

Note that prior to capture, this bird was not injured in any way. Stella is quick, and the morning dove was dopey. So she snatched him out of the air and held him in her mouth. Wings flapping. Me screaming.

"STELLA! DROP IT. DROP IT!!"

But she's really proud of her capture, so she's prancing around the yard, occassionally bringing the bird over to show me. And as she gets closer, I run the opposite direction, inadvertently turning it into a game. Pretty soon she's chasing me around the yard with the bird. I'm screaming. And the neighbor lady thinks I'm certifiably insane.

Finally she dropped it and I got her in the house. But all I kept thinking was, "this is the kind of stuff I'm going to have to deal with when I'm a stay-at-home mom." After all, Ben's not always going to be here to deal with the dead birds, actual or metaphorical. I'm going to have to step it up.

Now granted, I still waited for Ben to get home to take care of it. But at least I'm warming to my new responsibility level.

What it's all about

It's no secret that I'm a planner.

I pretty much have a five year life plan rolling around in my head at all times. I know how long I want to stay in our house (another 4 years max), when we should buy a new car (next month), and where our first post-baby vacation will be (Spain).

These aren't rigid plans by any means. I'm open to things evolving and changing. But I like having an idea of what's coming next.

Part of the plan in recent years has been for me to go back to school. UW Oshkosh has the master's program I'm looking for (Student Affairs in Higher Education), but I never really considered attending. I wanted to go to a larger school. I wanted to enroll in a more competitive program. I wanted to live in a new city.

Seeing a pattern here? The decision was all about me.

Ben was promoted at work recently. He went from a job that was fine and paid the bills, to a job with more responsibility that he really enjoys. It's challenging. It's interesting. Its given him a whole new perspective about his professional career.

Its been great to watch his attitude about work shift. He's taking pride in what he does. His days are long, but they're also more fulfilling. He really loves it. And then it hit me. It's not all about me anymore.

We've been married for three years. You'd think this realization would have come to me sooner. But truthfully, it didn't. I was still thinking primarily about what I wanted, not what was best for us.

It's not as if I was making these life decisions without Ben. He was open to and excited about a move. He was ready for a new adventure. He was incredibly supportive of my goals. But that's Ben. It would never occur to him not to put me first, even though he's happy and thriving right where we're at. He's an incredibly kind, wonderful, generous partner.

Somewhere between Ben's promotion and expecting a baby, I realized that uprooting our family was incredibly selfish. Especially when I can get the education I want right here. For now, I see that staying put is what's best for both of us.

After all, we have an incredible support network of family and friends. A home to call our own. And a life full of love and laughter.

That's what it's all about.

Life Lessons

Taylor and I grew up with some great one-liners.

If you wear too much makeup you look like a clown. You can love someone and have to let them go. Nothing good happens after midnight. If you're gonna be stupid, you have to be tough.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the things I want to teach baby. Granted most of these lessons won't come until much later in life, but I've been quite philosophical on what I've learned to be a better person (and what I'm still working on).

Among the first life lessons for baby: just own it. That is, don't make excuses for your behavior. Stand by your decisions, be authentic, and apologize when necessary. Don't lie to make yourself look or feel better. Stay true to who you are and how you choose to act. Just own it.

I'm guilty of telling little white lies. Most are small, like saying you hit traffic when you just left the house 15 minutes late. Most of the time I lie to avoid judgement or disappointment. In the moment, a lie to save face seems easier than admitting the truth.

This past New Year's Eve is the perfect example. My friends were curious why I wasn't drinking, and I wasn't ready to tell them that I'm pregnant. I kept going to the bar and ordering things that might "look like" actual drinks. I failed miserably and every time I tried to tell them it was alcohol, they'd call me out on it.

Now granted, I was trying to put on the charade because I wasn't ready for the world to know (or guess) about baby. But I would have saved myself a ton of grief (and embarrassment) if I would have just said, "Nope, not drinking tonight, but still having fun."

Stand by your decisions, be authentic, and apologize when necessary. Don't lie to make yourself look or feel better. Stay true to who you are and how you choose to act. Just own it.

I'm learning. After all, life is a work in progress.