- Will loves his preschool. He tells me all the time about his friends and his teacher and what they had for snack that day. Melts my heart. However, he also says his best friend at school is Lucy, but there is no Lucy. So I'm not sure if we've entered imaginary friend territory, or if he's decided our friends' dog is his best friend. Stay tuned.
- People keep commending me for doing EBF (exclusive breastfeeding) with Charlotte for the first six months. I think breast milk is awesome, and I'm thrilled that we hit that milestone. But the truth is, it wasn't a conscious choice so much as I forgot she could start food already. The plight of the second child.
- I freaking love my new job. Wait, did I ever tell you that I got a new job? I started a new position at our local public four-year university in September. I'm 20 hours a week on a nine month contract, which has been about perfect balance for me. I've learned that I'm not well-suited to being at home full-time, but I don't want to be away from the kids five days a week either. So I'm working three days a week and I'll have my summers off. Awesome!
- We hired a cleaning person last month. Best money ever spent. I had no idea where to start, but we found her on recommendation from a friend. She visits every other week and does an amazing job. It's so great to have someone come in to do the big stuff (floors, sinks, toilets, etc), so we can spend less time cleaning and more time hanging out as a family. On her first day here, she took out the vacuum and Will exclaimed, "What's that?!?" Nice. In sum, why we have a cleaning lady.
- I started doing yoga two mornings a week with a friend. It's really early (like waking up at 5:30 AM to be to the studio by 6:00 AM), but so worth it. The days I do yoga are so good. I'm more present, more patient, more positive. Although it's early, there's something so calming about being up before anyone else. Like the world in the sub-6:00 AM darkness exists only for me. Before the kids are awake, before we're scrambling to get ready, even before I've had my first cup of coffee. I get to do something just for me. It's like I'm sweeping away the cobwebs and shining myself up for the day. Om.
- We recently debated Charley vs. Charlie for Charlotte's nickname. I adore the spelling Charley, but Ben figures she'll just have to explain how to spell it her whole life. So Charlie it is.
Showing posts with label Being a mama. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Being a mama. Show all posts
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Radio Silence
Hello, out there! We're alive. Just busy. Here's life in six short snippets...
Monday, July 22, 2013
By the way...
I totally jinxed it.
But it was a solid 8 days of all-night slumber.
Plus, it's a promise that I will indeed sleep again.
Not now and not consistently. But someday.
I'll take it.
But it was a solid 8 days of all-night slumber.
Plus, it's a promise that I will indeed sleep again.
Not now and not consistently. But someday.
I'll take it.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
We've Come A Long Way, Baby
Last week, I was sipping coffee with a friend when an elderly woman approached us and asked how old Charlotte is. We exchanged pleasantries and gushed over my beautiful baby. As the woman was leaving she said, "Motherhood suits you, my dear! You're a natural."
Fast forward to today as I stopped to nurse Charlotte at a local parenting store. I entered the lounge area, which was empty except for another mother who was trying to soothe her fussy little one. The woman looked frazzled. The baby was cranky, her diaper bag had spilled all over the floor, she had spit-up on her shoulder. She was pretty much a hot mess. I slipped her a sympathetic smile, glided over to a chair and started nursing my smiley, serene baby when it struck me:
I was this woman just three short years ago.
The baby's grandmother was also with them, and we started chatting. "How old is your baby?" the grandmother asked. "Three months today," I responded. "Maddy just turned two months," the grandmother replied. "Have you found it gets easier each month?"
At this point, the mother looked up at me with that frazzled, stressed out look I remember too well. That look of... "Please, just tell me this is going to get better." That look of... "This can't always be this bad, can it? CAN IT?!?"
I smiled and said that Charlotte is our second baby, and that it's been a much easier adjustment this time around. Then I looked straight at the mother and said, "My older son was a really challenging infant. How are you doing?"
And the floodgates opened. She teared up and told me about how her baby doesn't sleep. How her baby screams for hours a day. How she's pumping because the baby won't latch. How her milk supply is running out. How she feels terrible for having to start formula. How she's desperate for her husband to come home in the evening because she just can't take it anymore.
I listened. I empathized. I avoided giving advice because she's doing what she knows best. It's not like there's a magic formula for dealing with a colicky baby. Other than time. And alcohol.
What I did tell her is that I'm a strong believer in the "fourth trimester" (the three months after birth in which the baby is adjusting to life outside the womb). That things did get easier as Will got older. That he's a bright, curious, sweet, sensitive little boy now. That I still think back to his early-infancy and shudder (seriously people, if you've never had a colicky baby, you just can't imagine the hell). That it took us a long, damn time to even think about having another kid. That finding other like-minded mom friends was the only way I survived (and continue to survive). That I eventually found my footing as a parent, and she will too.
It's almost as if I was talking to myself three years ago. I wish I would have had more people around me back then to help normalize my experience. To remind me that I'm not doing anything wrong. That I'm doing the best I can. That I'm not failing as a mother.
As they got up to leave, I looked down at my sweet, sleeping Charlotte and realized...
We've come a long way, baby.
Fast forward to today as I stopped to nurse Charlotte at a local parenting store. I entered the lounge area, which was empty except for another mother who was trying to soothe her fussy little one. The woman looked frazzled. The baby was cranky, her diaper bag had spilled all over the floor, she had spit-up on her shoulder. She was pretty much a hot mess. I slipped her a sympathetic smile, glided over to a chair and started nursing my smiley, serene baby when it struck me:
I was this woman just three short years ago.
The baby's grandmother was also with them, and we started chatting. "How old is your baby?" the grandmother asked. "Three months today," I responded. "Maddy just turned two months," the grandmother replied. "Have you found it gets easier each month?"
At this point, the mother looked up at me with that frazzled, stressed out look I remember too well. That look of... "Please, just tell me this is going to get better." That look of... "This can't always be this bad, can it? CAN IT?!?"
I smiled and said that Charlotte is our second baby, and that it's been a much easier adjustment this time around. Then I looked straight at the mother and said, "My older son was a really challenging infant. How are you doing?"
And the floodgates opened. She teared up and told me about how her baby doesn't sleep. How her baby screams for hours a day. How she's pumping because the baby won't latch. How her milk supply is running out. How she feels terrible for having to start formula. How she's desperate for her husband to come home in the evening because she just can't take it anymore.
I listened. I empathized. I avoided giving advice because she's doing what she knows best. It's not like there's a magic formula for dealing with a colicky baby. Other than time. And alcohol.
What I did tell her is that I'm a strong believer in the "fourth trimester" (the three months after birth in which the baby is adjusting to life outside the womb). That things did get easier as Will got older. That he's a bright, curious, sweet, sensitive little boy now. That I still think back to his early-infancy and shudder (seriously people, if you've never had a colicky baby, you just can't imagine the hell). That it took us a long, damn time to even think about having another kid. That finding other like-minded mom friends was the only way I survived (and continue to survive). That I eventually found my footing as a parent, and she will too.
It's almost as if I was talking to myself three years ago. I wish I would have had more people around me back then to help normalize my experience. To remind me that I'm not doing anything wrong. That I'm doing the best I can. That I'm not failing as a mother.
As they got up to leave, I looked down at my sweet, sleeping Charlotte and realized...
We've come a long way, baby.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
2 1/2 Years Old
Gah! I'm so late on these letters lately. Luckily I make notes so I can fill in details later. Better late than never... here is my letter to Will at 2 1/2 years old (February 2013).
Mama
 |
| Shy |
 |
| Silly |
 |
| Sweet |
Dear Will,
You turned 2 1/2 years old this week.
The occasion snuck up on me a little bit. We've been battling illness in our house lately, which means you and I (at 7 months pregnant) are both exhausted. We just can't seem to shake the sickies around here, but lucky for me, that means lots of extra snuggle time.
Despite being under the weather, you continue to be such a sweet and smiley boy. You literally light up my life every day. I'm amazed at how kind and intuitive you are. How sweet and sensitive. How funny and perceptive.
You continue to learn at a rapid pace. You now can identify all the uppercase letters, as well as numbers zero through nine. You love to point out letters when you see them. We were running errands a few weeks ago when you started reciting "O-T-E-G-R-A-T" over and over again. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what you were saying until I realized you were spelling "TARGET" backwards (with the bullseye symbol being an "O").
You absolutely love to sing. Your favorite song right now is the "ABCs" but you also make up your own tunes throughout the day. You really have an ear for music and can match pitch and intonation remarkably well.
You spend most of your time playing with trucks and trains. Your favorite truck is your mini steam shovel. You bring it everywhere with you... from your bed to the car to the library. You tell us all the time that it is "digging and scooping and dumping".
We don't watch much TV, but you love "Super Why" on PBS Kids. You shyly interact with the show, quietly calling out the letters when you see them and giving a "thumbs up" when prompted. So cute!
You started attending a part-time Montessori preschool in September, just after your second birthday. Although the first few weeks were rough (you cried every time I dropped you off), it wasn't long before you were running in the door excited to play. We've seen such a huge difference in your confidence since then. You are much more comfortable with new people and places, more willing to jump into unfamiliar situations. Unfortunately, your preschool closed right before Christmas, but I really credit the school and teachers for helping you develop your confidence and social skills.
Your sister will be here in just a few short months. You're such a kind and caring little boy, I know you'll be a wonderful sibling to her. In some ways, I'm sad to have our one-on-one dynamic change, but I'm so excited to see you in your new role: big brother.
I love you so much, sweet boy.
The occasion snuck up on me a little bit. We've been battling illness in our house lately, which means you and I (at 7 months pregnant) are both exhausted. We just can't seem to shake the sickies around here, but lucky for me, that means lots of extra snuggle time.
Despite being under the weather, you continue to be such a sweet and smiley boy. You literally light up my life every day. I'm amazed at how kind and intuitive you are. How sweet and sensitive. How funny and perceptive.
You continue to learn at a rapid pace. You now can identify all the uppercase letters, as well as numbers zero through nine. You love to point out letters when you see them. We were running errands a few weeks ago when you started reciting "O-T-E-G-R-A-T" over and over again. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what you were saying until I realized you were spelling "TARGET" backwards (with the bullseye symbol being an "O").
You absolutely love to sing. Your favorite song right now is the "ABCs" but you also make up your own tunes throughout the day. You really have an ear for music and can match pitch and intonation remarkably well.
You spend most of your time playing with trucks and trains. Your favorite truck is your mini steam shovel. You bring it everywhere with you... from your bed to the car to the library. You tell us all the time that it is "digging and scooping and dumping".
We don't watch much TV, but you love "Super Why" on PBS Kids. You shyly interact with the show, quietly calling out the letters when you see them and giving a "thumbs up" when prompted. So cute!
You started attending a part-time Montessori preschool in September, just after your second birthday. Although the first few weeks were rough (you cried every time I dropped you off), it wasn't long before you were running in the door excited to play. We've seen such a huge difference in your confidence since then. You are much more comfortable with new people and places, more willing to jump into unfamiliar situations. Unfortunately, your preschool closed right before Christmas, but I really credit the school and teachers for helping you develop your confidence and social skills.
Your sister will be here in just a few short months. You're such a kind and caring little boy, I know you'll be a wonderful sibling to her. In some ways, I'm sad to have our one-on-one dynamic change, but I'm so excited to see you in your new role: big brother.
I love you so much, sweet boy.
Love,
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Post-Op
Well, you've never experienced fun until you've carried your pee around in a bag outside your body.
Wednesday's surgery went well. The cyst was removed with just a minor complication. More of the cyst was attached to my urethra than they were expecting, so the surgeon had to reconstruct part of the urethral wall. This meant I had to wear a 24-hour catheter home, which was an absolute delight (as I'm sure you can imagine).
But the catheter came out this morning, and despite being a little sore and very sleepy, I'm feeling well. I was even able to nurse Charlotte earlier than expected, only 8 hours post-op.
I go back to see the surgeon on Tuesday, and can hopefully resume normal activity then (I'm on a lifting restriction again, so I can't lift Will or Charlotte's car seat until I get the all clear from the doc). Happy to have the procedure over and done with, though I have to say...
The anesthesia nap was delightful.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
One Month Old
 |
| Charlotte Louise (May 2013) |
I wrote most of this on Charlotte's one month birthday, but never got around to publishing it. Although we're almost at the two month mark now, here are my thoughts on our sweet Charlotte at one month old.
Dear Charlotte,
You are the absolute sweetest baby. At one month old, you have settled into our lives so seamlessly. You are just so mello and content. You take everything in stride and rarely make a peep. Plus, you're so snuggly. If you're a little fussy, you settle instantly as soon as someone is holding or cuddling you. Your sweet personality warms my heart.
You gave us your very first smile just a few days ago. I was making faces at you and you cracked the sweetest little smile. Social smiles are still sporadic at best, but I love holding your eye contact and trying to get a reaction out of you. You're also becoming quite the talker, cooing and gurgling when you're happy.
At one month old, you practically live in the Beco carrier. I typically need two hands free to wrangle your brother, so wearing you is often the best option. This seems to suit us both, as you love to be cuddled. You are so serene when you're in the carrier... just looking around peacefully or nodding off to sleep. I love it.
You're still sleeping in bed with Mama and Daddy at night, although I know this has to end fairly soon. We consider co-sleeping to be a survival mechanism in these early weeks. Anything to get a few blissful hours of rest. We hope to help you transition to your crib in the coming weeks, but for now, I'm still enjoying snuggling up next to you, breathing in your sweet baby smell as I drift off to sleep.
You continue to be a great eater. You're nursing very well, and my breasts have all but healed from our earlier latch issues. You usually nurse 8-9 times a day, typically taking both breasts at each feeding. We also introduced a bottle when you turned four weeks old. You took the bottle without hesitation, and Daddy loves being able to feed you now. Although we try and limit you to one bottle feeding a day, it's nice for Mama to get a few extra hours of rest.
Your only serious dislike right now is bath time. You just wail when we put you in the tub. Tummy time is also low on your list, but you tolerate it. Will likes to "play" tummy time with you, laying next to you and coaxing you to turn your head toward him. You really seem to respond to his voice, and like looking at his face. Your early relationship as siblings just warms my heart.
I'm amazed by how my heart has swelled with love since you arrived. When I was pregnant, I couldn't fathom how I'd love another child as much as I love your brother. But from the moment you arrived, you have fully and completely captivated me. Often I just sit and stare at you, marveling over how sweet, snuggly and perfect you are. I am so thankful that you are ours.
Daddy and I love you so much, baby girl.
Love,
Mama
Friday, May 24, 2013
Just kidding...
Wednesday was my six week postpartum check, which was a big one because we were doing the follow-up and treatment plan for my vaginal prolapse.
Except...
It turns out I don't have a vaginal prolapse.
Upon further review (and second look when things were healed and not so ouchy after child birth), my midwife determined that the mass in my vaginal canal was not a prolapse. Good news!
Except...
What the hell is it then?
The midwife sent me to a urologist who believes it's a urethral cyst. Apparently fairly common in women. It just so happens mine flared up after child birth.
The not so good news? This sucker has to come off. So I'm scheduled for surgery in 10 days.
It's an outpatient procedure and should only take 20-30 minutes. I go in at 6:30 in the morning and I should be home before lunch time.
The big bummer is that I have to go under general anesthesia, which means I can't breastfeed for 24 hours after surgery. Charlotte is doing so well with breastfeeding... I hope this doesn't disrupt our nursing relationship.
Luckily she takes a bottle well and I already have enough milk for her in the freezer, but she'll only be eight weeks old on the day of the operation. I just hate the idea of not being able to nurse her for a whole day. Although I struggled with Will, I absolutely love nursing Charlotte. She's so little, and I don't want anything to jeopardize her breastfeeding success.
Except...
It turns out I don't have a vaginal prolapse.
Upon further review (and second look when things were healed and not so ouchy after child birth), my midwife determined that the mass in my vaginal canal was not a prolapse. Good news!
Except...
What the hell is it then?
The midwife sent me to a urologist who believes it's a urethral cyst. Apparently fairly common in women. It just so happens mine flared up after child birth.
The not so good news? This sucker has to come off. So I'm scheduled for surgery in 10 days.
It's an outpatient procedure and should only take 20-30 minutes. I go in at 6:30 in the morning and I should be home before lunch time.
The big bummer is that I have to go under general anesthesia, which means I can't breastfeed for 24 hours after surgery. Charlotte is doing so well with breastfeeding... I hope this doesn't disrupt our nursing relationship.
Luckily she takes a bottle well and I already have enough milk for her in the freezer, but she'll only be eight weeks old on the day of the operation. I just hate the idea of not being able to nurse her for a whole day. Although I struggled with Will, I absolutely love nursing Charlotte. She's so little, and I don't want anything to jeopardize her breastfeeding success.
Monday, May 20, 2013
I need a do-over
Today has been terrible.
Neither Will nor Charlotte wanted to sleep last night.
Because he was overtired, Will threw an epic tantrum this morning.
It's 82 degrees outside and none of my shorts fit.
I forgot to put on deodorant and breast pads before leaving the house.
I left my wallet at the coffee shop.
I have a plugged duct.
In sum: I need a do-over. Or a huge helping of dessert.
Maybe both.
Neither Will nor Charlotte wanted to sleep last night.
Because he was overtired, Will threw an epic tantrum this morning.
It's 82 degrees outside and none of my shorts fit.
I forgot to put on deodorant and breast pads before leaving the house.
I left my wallet at the coffee shop.
I have a plugged duct.
In sum: I need a do-over. Or a huge helping of dessert.
Maybe both.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Reflections from the Newborn Haze
Sorry blogging has been a bit lackluster lately. I only sleep about 3 hours at a time these days, so my brain is foggy and seemingly incapable of coherent thought.
Regardless, here are some musings on parenting two kids and parenting a newborn again...
Regardless, here are some musings on parenting two kids and parenting a newborn again...
- I'm a much more relaxed parent this time around. This is likely because I'm not cripplingly depressed like I was with Will, not to mention Charlotte is a generally chill baby. I'm glad to have the "fun" newborn experience. Although Will grew into a sweet, funny, smart kid, the first few months of his life were really challenging. With Charlotte, I understand why people love newborns. She's just so sweet and cuddly!
- Taking care of two kids isn't as overwhelming as I thought it would be. Honestly, the hardest part is leaving the house on time. Everything takes an additional 10-15 minutes these days.
- I forgot how worthless it is to "sleep when the baby sleeps." I really tried to do this in the weeks immediately after the birth, but now, I want those two hours in the afternoon for me, not sleep. (Thus, why I'm blogging right now instead of napping.)
- The patio furniture section at Target is the greatest place ever to breastfeed. Comfy chairs and pillows for the win! Bonus points if you get a Diet Coke to enjoy while you're back there.
- The most used piece of baby gear this time around is our Beco carrier. I liked carriers with Will and we used them often, but having two hands free is a must with a two year-old. Charlotte pretty much lives strapped to my chest.
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Birthing Charlotte
Since having my own children, I love hearing birth stories. Love, love, love. Birth is so incredible, and I love hearing every woman's experience, whether it was a natural birth, medicated birth, c-section or adoption. How you welcome your child into your lives is a monumental experience.
Fair warning: This gets a little TMI. Right from the get-go. So if you don't want to hear about my reproductive organs and all the nitty gritty details of labor, I advise you stop reading right now.
Also, if you're so inclined, you can revisit Will's birth story.
---
Charlotte's birth story really begins the day before she was born. At my 38 week OB appointment that Monday, our midwife recommended sex to help induce labor. Although I wasn't yet overdue, I had carried Charlotte almost a week longer than I had carried Will. I was exhausted, huge and ready to meet our little girl.
On Tuesday, I decided I'd had enough. Although I was gigantic, and the thought of sex at 9 months pregnant wasn't super appealing, it sounded better than being pregnant any longer. So we gave it a shot. Honestly, I was skeptical that it would do anything. Little did we know, it would take less than 7 hours for labor to begin.
I woke up about 5:00 AM on Wednesday morning with a contraction. It wasn't severe, but it was there. I was about to drift back asleep, when I felt another one just a few minutes later. Then another. I grabbed Ben's iPad and started timing my contractions with this awesome contraction counter. After about 15 minutes of timing, I realized I was having very regular contractions every 4-5 minutes, each lasting 30-40 seconds in length. This got my attention. Excited, I hopped out of bed and started walking around the house. It was about 6:00 AM.
We had been expecting a winter storm overnight, which delivered lots of rain, snow and sleet. As the sun came up, I realized that everything was covered in about 1/4" of ice. My contractions were getting a bit closer together (3-4 minutes) and longer (40-60 seconds). Not knowing how the roads were, we decided to phone the on-call nurse at 6:30 AM. She agreed that given my fast labor with Will and the questionable road conditions, we should probably come in. I had intended to labor at home longer, but we didn't want to risk it with the weather. We called Ben's mom to come up and watch Will, and prepared to go to the hospital.
Grandma arrived at our house around 7:30 AM. We kissed Will, grabbed the hospital bag and headed out the door. Luckily, the roads weren't awful, but we got detoured due to standing water and street flooding. After some creative driving, we got to the hospital a little before 8:00 AM.
We got checked in and met our nurses. A cervical check revealed that I was three, nearly four centimeters dilated. I had to be on the monitor for 30 minutes, so I got settled in bed and watched The Today Show. My contractions weren't terribly painful yet, but I was beginning to use relaxation breathing to get through them.
Once my time on the monitor was up (around 9:00 AM), Ben and I started walking the halls. The birth ward is one huge rectangle, so we paced around and around and around, stopping to sway and breathe through contractions. Every few laps, the nurse had me come back into the room to check the baby's heart rate. Luckily I didn't have to get in bed for these checks, as my contractions were getting really uncomfortable unless I was standing and swaying. It was nice to have so much freedom to move. The nurses were really accommodating of our birth plan and birth wishes.
Our midwife checked in with us throughout the morning, often walking the halls right alongside us. This is probably the greatest difference between Charlotte's birth and Will's birth... our midwife was so present. When Will was born, the on-call doctor came in at the last possible moment, caught Will, stitched me up and left. But our midwife was more like a partner in the birth. She was with us virtually all day.
Around 12:00 PM, I got really tired and nauseous. We went back to our room so I could lay down and listen to music. After about 20-30 minutes, I made myself get back and keep moving, as I knew that would help move labor along. We made a few laps around the birth ward, but the contractions were getting really intense. I had some pressure in my bottom, but I wasn't yet experiencing the urge to push. I didn't want to be walking anymore, so we headed back to the room.
Back in the room I just couldn't get comfortable, so our midwife set up the birthing bar for me to lean on and work through some of the pain. I had my arms resting on the bar with my bottom out, swaying my hips to try and drop the baby down. It was about 1:00 PM at this point, and the contractions felt like they were coming non-stop. There was no relief. It seemed like my body was being pushed to the limit.
Although I still didn't feel the overwhelming urge to push, I needed to do something to keep labor moving. The pressure in my bottom was getting more intense, so I got on my back and grabbed my legs for a few contractions. Although this is how I pushed Will out, it felt all wrong this time. I couldn't articulate what I needed or how I wanted to labor. All I knew was that this wasn't right.
Our midwife suggested that I use the birthing bar to labor in a squatting position. The baby still had to clear the turn around my pubic bone, so the midwife coached me to stand and squat with the contractions to allow gravity to help us along. I never would have initiated this, but it was the perfect position for this labor and this baby. It actually felt good to push in this position, and I could feel myself making progress.
At this point my water still hadn't broken, and we were starting to think the baby might be born with the bag intact (how cool would that be?!?). But suddenly my water broke, splashing Ben and the midwife and scaring the shit out of me. It made a audible "pop," relieving a ton of pressure. All of a sudden, I felt the baby drop very low, very quickly.
My contractions had been pretty brutal for several hours, but after my water broke they started to feel unbearable. In fact, the contractions were so cripplingly painful that I felt like I couldn't push during them. However, I suddenly had the overwhelming urge to push between contractions. So my body would push then I would push. It was basically like laboring non-stop.
I started hyperventilating and telling the nurses that I couldn't feel my hands. They had to coach me to slow down my breathing. I don't remember much from this stage, except that I felt very out of control. It was as if the labor was happening independent of me, and all I could do was surrender to it.
After my water broke, things moved very fast. Once she made the turn around my pubic bone, she was born in just a few pushes. The midwife said she pretty much "crashed" out of me.
Ben wanted to catch the baby, so as she started crowning, he moved to the bottom of the bed to assist the midwife. Even though Charlotte born born with her hands by her face, crowning wasn't as painful this time around. I distinctly felt the "ring of fire" when Will was born, but this time it felt more like intense pressure. The midwife said I tore in almost the exact same place as with Will, so I suppose the skin was already stretched to accommodate.
Knowing we were almost done, I gave it everything I had. Every last ounce of strength I could muster. I heard the midwife say her head was out, and she asked me to stop pushing so she could check the baby's neck for the cord. Then I gave it one last push to clear her shoulders. I felt her slip out of me and instantly all the pain went away. It's an incredible thing to go from the most pain you've ever felt to the most joy in a matter of seconds.
She was wailing as they put her on my chest. Her little face was purple and bruised from her fast delivery. I marveled at all of her dark hair. Her tiny, long fingers. She was absolutely perfect.
This time we were able to wait until the cord stop pulsating before it was clamped and cut (this wish was ignored by the on-call doctor during Will's birth). I enjoyed cuddles with Charlotte as the midwife waited for my placenta to deliver. She started rooting for the breast and latched just a few minutes after she was born.
After delivery, I started hemorrhaging pretty severely, so the midwife gave me a shot of Pitocin and then a Cytotec suppository to help control the bleeding. I also needed a few stitches to repair a small tear.
Charlotte's birth was much harder than Will's... very intense right from the get-go. Although I felt very empowered after Will was born, I vowed to never give birth again in the minutes after Charlotte was born. As it turns out, that decision may have been made for me... I've since developed a delivery complication that may prevent us from having more children. But that's for another post.
Above anything else, we're so thrilled our sweet Charlotte is here. Her arrival was dramatic (to say the least), but she couldn't be more mello and content. We're loving this time with our sweet, cuddly little girl.
Fair warning: This gets a little TMI. Right from the get-go. So if you don't want to hear about my reproductive organs and all the nitty gritty details of labor, I advise you stop reading right now.
Also, if you're so inclined, you can revisit Will's birth story.
---
Charlotte's birth story really begins the day before she was born. At my 38 week OB appointment that Monday, our midwife recommended sex to help induce labor. Although I wasn't yet overdue, I had carried Charlotte almost a week longer than I had carried Will. I was exhausted, huge and ready to meet our little girl.
On Tuesday, I decided I'd had enough. Although I was gigantic, and the thought of sex at 9 months pregnant wasn't super appealing, it sounded better than being pregnant any longer. So we gave it a shot. Honestly, I was skeptical that it would do anything. Little did we know, it would take less than 7 hours for labor to begin.
I woke up about 5:00 AM on Wednesday morning with a contraction. It wasn't severe, but it was there. I was about to drift back asleep, when I felt another one just a few minutes later. Then another. I grabbed Ben's iPad and started timing my contractions with this awesome contraction counter. After about 15 minutes of timing, I realized I was having very regular contractions every 4-5 minutes, each lasting 30-40 seconds in length. This got my attention. Excited, I hopped out of bed and started walking around the house. It was about 6:00 AM.
We had been expecting a winter storm overnight, which delivered lots of rain, snow and sleet. As the sun came up, I realized that everything was covered in about 1/4" of ice. My contractions were getting a bit closer together (3-4 minutes) and longer (40-60 seconds). Not knowing how the roads were, we decided to phone the on-call nurse at 6:30 AM. She agreed that given my fast labor with Will and the questionable road conditions, we should probably come in. I had intended to labor at home longer, but we didn't want to risk it with the weather. We called Ben's mom to come up and watch Will, and prepared to go to the hospital.
Grandma arrived at our house around 7:30 AM. We kissed Will, grabbed the hospital bag and headed out the door. Luckily, the roads weren't awful, but we got detoured due to standing water and street flooding. After some creative driving, we got to the hospital a little before 8:00 AM.
We got checked in and met our nurses. A cervical check revealed that I was three, nearly four centimeters dilated. I had to be on the monitor for 30 minutes, so I got settled in bed and watched The Today Show. My contractions weren't terribly painful yet, but I was beginning to use relaxation breathing to get through them.
Once my time on the monitor was up (around 9:00 AM), Ben and I started walking the halls. The birth ward is one huge rectangle, so we paced around and around and around, stopping to sway and breathe through contractions. Every few laps, the nurse had me come back into the room to check the baby's heart rate. Luckily I didn't have to get in bed for these checks, as my contractions were getting really uncomfortable unless I was standing and swaying. It was nice to have so much freedom to move. The nurses were really accommodating of our birth plan and birth wishes.
Our midwife checked in with us throughout the morning, often walking the halls right alongside us. This is probably the greatest difference between Charlotte's birth and Will's birth... our midwife was so present. When Will was born, the on-call doctor came in at the last possible moment, caught Will, stitched me up and left. But our midwife was more like a partner in the birth. She was with us virtually all day.
Around 12:00 PM, I got really tired and nauseous. We went back to our room so I could lay down and listen to music. After about 20-30 minutes, I made myself get back and keep moving, as I knew that would help move labor along. We made a few laps around the birth ward, but the contractions were getting really intense. I had some pressure in my bottom, but I wasn't yet experiencing the urge to push. I didn't want to be walking anymore, so we headed back to the room.
Back in the room I just couldn't get comfortable, so our midwife set up the birthing bar for me to lean on and work through some of the pain. I had my arms resting on the bar with my bottom out, swaying my hips to try and drop the baby down. It was about 1:00 PM at this point, and the contractions felt like they were coming non-stop. There was no relief. It seemed like my body was being pushed to the limit.
Although I still didn't feel the overwhelming urge to push, I needed to do something to keep labor moving. The pressure in my bottom was getting more intense, so I got on my back and grabbed my legs for a few contractions. Although this is how I pushed Will out, it felt all wrong this time. I couldn't articulate what I needed or how I wanted to labor. All I knew was that this wasn't right.
Our midwife suggested that I use the birthing bar to labor in a squatting position. The baby still had to clear the turn around my pubic bone, so the midwife coached me to stand and squat with the contractions to allow gravity to help us along. I never would have initiated this, but it was the perfect position for this labor and this baby. It actually felt good to push in this position, and I could feel myself making progress.
At this point my water still hadn't broken, and we were starting to think the baby might be born with the bag intact (how cool would that be?!?). But suddenly my water broke, splashing Ben and the midwife and scaring the shit out of me. It made a audible "pop," relieving a ton of pressure. All of a sudden, I felt the baby drop very low, very quickly.
My contractions had been pretty brutal for several hours, but after my water broke they started to feel unbearable. In fact, the contractions were so cripplingly painful that I felt like I couldn't push during them. However, I suddenly had the overwhelming urge to push between contractions. So my body would push then I would push. It was basically like laboring non-stop.
I started hyperventilating and telling the nurses that I couldn't feel my hands. They had to coach me to slow down my breathing. I don't remember much from this stage, except that I felt very out of control. It was as if the labor was happening independent of me, and all I could do was surrender to it.
After my water broke, things moved very fast. Once she made the turn around my pubic bone, she was born in just a few pushes. The midwife said she pretty much "crashed" out of me.
Ben wanted to catch the baby, so as she started crowning, he moved to the bottom of the bed to assist the midwife. Even though Charlotte born born with her hands by her face, crowning wasn't as painful this time around. I distinctly felt the "ring of fire" when Will was born, but this time it felt more like intense pressure. The midwife said I tore in almost the exact same place as with Will, so I suppose the skin was already stretched to accommodate.
Knowing we were almost done, I gave it everything I had. Every last ounce of strength I could muster. I heard the midwife say her head was out, and she asked me to stop pushing so she could check the baby's neck for the cord. Then I gave it one last push to clear her shoulders. I felt her slip out of me and instantly all the pain went away. It's an incredible thing to go from the most pain you've ever felt to the most joy in a matter of seconds.
She was wailing as they put her on my chest. Her little face was purple and bruised from her fast delivery. I marveled at all of her dark hair. Her tiny, long fingers. She was absolutely perfect.
This time we were able to wait until the cord stop pulsating before it was clamped and cut (this wish was ignored by the on-call doctor during Will's birth). I enjoyed cuddles with Charlotte as the midwife waited for my placenta to deliver. She started rooting for the breast and latched just a few minutes after she was born.
After delivery, I started hemorrhaging pretty severely, so the midwife gave me a shot of Pitocin and then a Cytotec suppository to help control the bleeding. I also needed a few stitches to repair a small tear.
Charlotte's birth was much harder than Will's... very intense right from the get-go. Although I felt very empowered after Will was born, I vowed to never give birth again in the minutes after Charlotte was born. As it turns out, that decision may have been made for me... I've since developed a delivery complication that may prevent us from having more children. But that's for another post.
Above anything else, we're so thrilled our sweet Charlotte is here. Her arrival was dramatic (to say the least), but she couldn't be more mello and content. We're loving this time with our sweet, cuddly little girl.
Monday, April 8, 2013
A few amusing anecdotes
I can't form any cohesive thoughts to write a formal blog post, so here are some snippets from our life in the past week:
- We all had the stomach flu (gastroenteritis) last week. It started with Will, who showed no signs of being sick, until he started vomiting all over the OB's office while in the middle of my 38 week check. Seriously... I'm on the exam table, doppler gel on my belly, maternity pants pulled down around my waist. And Will starts barfing. Everywhere. It was horrifying at the time, but pretty damn comical looking back now.
- I ripped my maternity pants, which is probably a new personal low.
- Will has started declaring that he can't do things (like brush his teeth or put away his toys) because "my belly is just too big, Mama."
- Will started sobbing at the grocery store today because I put ice cream in the cart. WTF? He kept begging me to put it back, tears streaming down his face. I probably should have just put it back and avoided the episode (and the extra calories), but at 9 months pregnant, food is my only friend. (Mother of the year, right?)
Saturday, March 30, 2013
No-Mess Easter Eggs
I was hesitant to dye Easter eggs with Will this year because of the mess. I was envisioning dye everywhere, stained fingers, ruined clothes... the works. (Plus none of us like hardboiled eggs, so boiling and dyeing a bunch of eggs seems like a colossal waste.)
However, I still wanted to do something with Will to celebrate Easter, so when I found this felt Easter egg tutorial via Classic Play on Friday, I immediately ran out to get supplies.
I invested about 20 minutes and $5 into the project. I cut the shapes freehand from felt, which included five eggs, stripes, stars, triangles, "jelly beans" (small ovals) and a chick. Some of the eggs "crack open" which Will thought was really fun. He had a blast decorating and re-decorating this morning, so I consider the project a complete success.
Although the tutorial has you make a felt-covered wooden board, I just used two felt sheets (one green, one blue) on the dining room table. I can see where the board would be convenient (and sturdier), but the felt sheets worked fine.
I regret not posting this sooner, but we just made ours last night! Wishing you a festive and mess-free holiday...
However, I still wanted to do something with Will to celebrate Easter, so when I found this felt Easter egg tutorial via Classic Play on Friday, I immediately ran out to get supplies.
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| Exploring the materials |
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| Mixing it up |
I invested about 20 minutes and $5 into the project. I cut the shapes freehand from felt, which included five eggs, stripes, stars, triangles, "jelly beans" (small ovals) and a chick. Some of the eggs "crack open" which Will thought was really fun. He had a blast decorating and re-decorating this morning, so I consider the project a complete success.
Although the tutorial has you make a felt-covered wooden board, I just used two felt sheets (one green, one blue) on the dining room table. I can see where the board would be convenient (and sturdier), but the felt sheets worked fine.
I regret not posting this sooner, but we just made ours last night! Wishing you a festive and mess-free holiday...
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
On Being Real
I love this.
If you have a moment, please read it.
I'm totally guilty of this. Even to the point that I don't take photos/videos as much as I should because my house is messy, or I'm not wearing makeup, or Will isn't wearing a particularly darling outfit that day. I totally edit my own life... not only how I want other people to see it, but how I want to remember it.
I try and get real on the blog, but even what I post here is usually the sunshiny, happy stuff. Or at least a toned down version of how I'm really feeling. But you know what? My most popular posts are always the ones that are raw and vulnerable. Because in that great vast expanse that is the Internet (and our daily lives), aren't we just looking to connect with one another?
Those moments we all share on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter aren't a total lie. They happened. We have the digital photo to prove it. But the article is a good reminder that such moments are one snapshot in time, not necessarily indicative of the totality of one's day or one's life. In between those sweet and blissful memories is a hell of a lot of stress, frustration and exhaustion. Because parenting (or marriage, or career) is cyclical. For every great stage, there will be a challenging one. For every amazing, self-affirming moment, there will be one filled with anxiety and self-doubt.
Parenting is a lifelong process... mistakes and growth, highs and lows are just part of the journey.
If you have a moment, please read it.
I'm totally guilty of this. Even to the point that I don't take photos/videos as much as I should because my house is messy, or I'm not wearing makeup, or Will isn't wearing a particularly darling outfit that day. I totally edit my own life... not only how I want other people to see it, but how I want to remember it.
I try and get real on the blog, but even what I post here is usually the sunshiny, happy stuff. Or at least a toned down version of how I'm really feeling. But you know what? My most popular posts are always the ones that are raw and vulnerable. Because in that great vast expanse that is the Internet (and our daily lives), aren't we just looking to connect with one another?
Those moments we all share on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter aren't a total lie. They happened. We have the digital photo to prove it. But the article is a good reminder that such moments are one snapshot in time, not necessarily indicative of the totality of one's day or one's life. In between those sweet and blissful memories is a hell of a lot of stress, frustration and exhaustion. Because parenting (or marriage, or career) is cyclical. For every great stage, there will be a challenging one. For every amazing, self-affirming moment, there will be one filled with anxiety and self-doubt.
Parenting is a lifelong process... mistakes and growth, highs and lows are just part of the journey.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Friday, February 1, 2013
A Day in the Life
Here's a snapshot of a day in our life... Will at 2 1/2 years old. This is one of my "at-home" days (i.e. I don't have to work). This particular day was a Wednesday...
6:50 AM: I wake-up to Will chattering happily in his room. He's always in such a good mood in the mornings.
6:55 AM: Ben has been up for a while getting ready for work. He goes into Will's room to say good morning and change his clothes. I buy a couple extra minutes under the covers.
7:00 AM: Will runs into our room and climbs into bed with me. "Mama, do you want to get up?" We head into the kitchen to have breakfast.
7:05 AM: After perusing the cereal selection in his cabinet, Will selects Crispex (his favorite). He helps me pour cereal into a bowl and requests milk and a banana. I get him all set and make myself some coffee. I decide on oatmeal this morning, which Will wants to sample as well. "Mama, will you please share?"
7:15 AM: Ben leaves for work. Will runs to his room to watch Daddy drive away. He then comes back to the kitchen to finish his breakfast.
7:30 AM: I'm still sipping coffee, but Will is done eating. He hops out of his chair and plays in the living room while I listen to NPR (Morning Edition) and clean the kitchen.
7:40 AM: I join him in the living room and we play trains. His favorite game right now is pretending to load and unload cargo. He likes to tell me what's just arrived. "This is apples, Mama. And this is milk."
8:00 AM: I need to shower and get ready for the day. In a perfect world, this would happen before Will gets up, but I'm pregnant andlike need to sleep. So we head into the bathroom together. I recently found a short video about trains on YouTube that he loves, so I put that on for him while I shower.
8:12 AM: Video's over and I'm out of the shower. He asks to watch it again, but I say no (we try and limit his screen time to an hour or less a day). He helps me pick out my clothes ("Mama, that shirt is cute") and I get dressed.
8:20 AM: I'm doing my hair and makeup. Will is playing in the living room with his puzzles. When he hears the blow dryer, he runs into the bathroom so I can blow dry his hair too.
8:40 AM: We brush our teeth in his bathroom. He likes to start the electric toothbrush for me. While helping him with his teeth, I notice he has another molar. This may explain some of especially cranky behavior lately. Only one molar to go!
8:42 AM: Tooth brushing is over. He asks to fill up his cup with some water from the sink. He takes a drink, puts his tooth brush in the cup, and says "OK, bye!" on his way to his next adventure.
8:45 AM: I pry him away from his trains, and we start the "heading out the door" process. We put on his shoes, coat, hat and mittens. He helps me button my coat. I grab his backpack and my wallet. We head out to the car and get buckled up.
8:55 AM: We leave for swim class. We'd normally have another 10 minutes at home, but it's really snowy and slippery today so I want some extra travel time.
9:10 AM: We arrive at swim lessons. There's an especially "jumpy" (i.e. upbeat) song on the radio, so Will asks to listen to the rest before we get out of the car.
9:12 AM: Song is over. I get out of the car and start to unbuckle Will from his car seat. He starts crying because "it's too windy" (which it is). I try to soothe him and explain that it's a quick walk to the door, but he's very upset to have to go out in the blizzard. He buries his head in my shoulder as we make our way through the snow drifts to the door.
9:15 AM: We've made it inside and and to the locker room. Will doesn't want to get undressed. Sigh. I'm trying to be patient, but lessons start in less than 15 minutes. I end up peeling his clothes off of him while he cries and protests. Eventually he's undressed and has his swimsuit on. He's no longer upset, in fact, he's now excited to go swimming. We head out of the locker room and wait for the teacher.
9:28 AM: Will names all the letters and colors he can find in the waiting area. He gets shy when the other little boy in his class arrives, and he buries his face in my legs.
9:30 AM: Class time! Will and Everett head into the pool with Ms. Alina for their swim lesson.
9:31 AM: I take a seat in the viewing area. I discuss local preschools with Everett's mom. The boys are the only class at this time, so it's nice at quiet at swim school. I love that he gets so much individual instruction and undivided attention from the teacher.
10:00 AM: Class is over. I remind Will to say "thank you" to Ms. Alina and we head into the locker room to shower and change.
10:02 AM: Will rinses off in the shower. He LOVES the shower. I think this is half the reason he enjoys swimming class so much.
10:05 AM: Will doesn't want to get dressed. He's stalling by packing and unpacking his duffel bag. I ask him to help me put his clothes on, but he refuses. So I've got to wrestle them on him. He's crying and complaining and thrashing around, but what can I do? I can't take him outside naked and I need to follow-through. I said it's time to get dressed, so we're going to get dressed. He fights me every step of the way (diaper, shirt, pants, socks, shoes, etc). This is particularly trying in the small locker room space where his tantrums disrupt the other parents/children.
Note: Cooperation is our biggest struggle right now. He knows the routine and what's coming next, but simply doesn't want to do it. We try and engage him in the process by offering choices ("It's time to get dressed. Do you want to put on your shirt or pants first?"), but rather than making a choice, he just ignores us or refuses to answer. I understand he's exerting his independence, but this can be SO FRUSTRATING.
10:23 AM: He's finally dressed. Despite fighting me the entire time, he's now in a great mood. I smile apologetically to the other mothers, pack up his bag, and get him bundled up to head outside.
10:25 AM: We leave swim school. The roads are TERRIBLE. I wanted to take him to the library today, but it looks like we have to go straight home. It takes me twice as long as normal, but we chat about the weather, look for snow plows, and sing songs on the radio.
10:48 AM: We're home. Will takes off his coat and shoes, then bounds into the living room to play.
11:13 AM: Will starts exhibiting some signals that he has to go #2 (asking for space, tugging on his bottom, etc.). I ask him if he wants to sit on the potty, but he declines. After a few minutes, he asks me to change his diaper, but it's still clean. He's all clenched up and telling me his bottom hurts, which are pretty clear indicators. We go into the bathroom together and I gently encourage him to sit on the potty. He cries and says that he can't, but eventually sits. He goes almost immediately. He's so proud and excited. I make a mental note that we're probably ready to seriously potty train. I help him get cleaned up and wash his hands.
Note: We've been casually potty training since the fall, basically offering the potty as an option and letting him decide if he wants to or not. He goes #1 almost every night before bed, and #2 when we manage to catch his signals. He still wears diapers 100% of the time, but I think he's ready to make the move to underwear.
11:45 AM: Lunch time. Today we're having a peanut butter sandwich, carrots, yogurt and grapes. Pretty standard.
12:05 PM: Will's done eating. He asks if we can paint, but I need to clean up from lunch, so he settles for crayons (which require less supervision).
12:10 PM: Coloring was short lived. Will's back in the living room playing with puzzles.
12:20 PM: I'm done cleaning the kitchen, so I join Will for some playtime. He's working on his new 25-piece animal puzzles (there are four puzzles total). His favorite is the elephant.
12:55 PM: It's nearly nap time. We head into Will's room to change his diaper and read some books ("Mama, do you want to read my stories?").
1:15 PM: I leave Will's room. He goes down for naps so easily. I hear him talking to Barkley (his stuffed dog) in bed, but he's sound asleep within 10 minutes. He usually naps 2-3 hours in the afternoon. I use this time to work, catch-up on emails, check Facebook, read, etc.
4:04 PM: I fell asleep (yay, pregnancy!), but I wake-up to Will chattering happily in his room. I lay in bed for a minute, then swoop in to give him a kiss. I change his diaper and ask him what he wants to do next. He elects to play with his trucks in baby sister's room. We sit down together to "dig and scoop and dump" with the trucks.
4:40 PM: Will hears the back door open ("Oh! Daddy's home!"). He runs into the kitchen to give Ben a big bear hug and drags him back to baby sister's room to play. "Daddy, this is the big, big yellow wheel loader! It has a big black bucket for lifting dirt." Ben and I catch up on the day while playing with Will.
5:20 PM: I leave Daddy and Will to play while I start dinner. We're having pan seared rosemary chicken and wilted balsamic kale for dinner.
5:50 PM: Will is a very picky eater, so I prepare something for him too. We put whatever we're having on his plate, but he typically won't eat it. Tonight he has pasta with marinara, string cheese and blueberries, in addition to a small portion of our chicken and kale.
6:00 PM: Dinner time! We sit down at the table to eat together. Will gobbles up his pasta, cheese and fruit. He tries the kale, but doesn't touch the chicken. Child still won't eat meat. I keep expecting him to grow out of it, but who knows.
6:22 PM: Will is done eating. Ben and I are still dining and conversing. Will brings his trains into the dining room and plays under the table.
6:35 PM: Ben and I clear the table. We elect to clean the kitchen after Will goes to bed, so we can get some more playtime in now.
7:00 PM: I draw Will's bath. Will helps Daddy clean up his toys, then heads into his room to pick out his jammies. Tonight he selects his airplane jammies. We set his jammies, socks, slipper and diaper on his bed.
7:08 PM: It's time to get in the bath. Will requests a parade into the bathroom. We all line up and march through the house singing, "I love a parade!"
7:12 PM: We end up in the bathroom. Door shuts and it's time to get undressed. Will doesn't want to get undressed and tries to bargain for another activity. I try to keep him focused, but he doesn't respond to choices ("Do you want to take off your shirt of pants first?"). He's deliberately ignoring me, so after asking him three times I choose for him ("Since you are unable to share your preference, Mama chooses shirt"). This upsets him ("No, Mama, pants! Pants, please!"), but we're trying to work with him on cooperating and listening the first time he's asked. One of our consequences is "when you do not listen, you loose your choices." Since he could not offer a choice when asked, it becomes my decision.
7:16 PM: He's upset and refusing to cooperate, so I literally have to wrestle him out of his shirt. Seriously, this kid has the strength of 10 grown men. It would be way easier just to give in and do his pants first, but we're trying to follow-through on the limits and consequences we set. He can't refuse to answer until a consequence is delivered. So shirt it is.
7:20 PM: I eventually get his shirt off and he cries in my lap for awhile. I empathize with his emotion ("I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated, buddy") and explain the context ("That's why it's important to listen the first time Mama asks. Next time, please tell me your choice when I ask you"). We have lots of snuggles and hugs. He takes a deep breath ("I'm all better!") and I ask him if he'd like to do his pants or socks next. He chooses pants. After the initial battle, the rest of the choices go very smoothly.
7:25 PM: He's totally undressed. I ask him if he'd like to sit on the potty or get in the bathtub. He chooses potty. He goes #1 almost immediately. This is pretty routine for him now. He flushes the toilet and washes his hands.
7:27 PM: He "jumps" in the tub (with my assistance). We play with his bath letters, practice the back float from swim class, blow bubbles, and listen for fish. In between all that fun, I manage to also wash his hair and scrub him down with the wash cloth. He helps me pull up the drain and "swims" on his belly while the water is draining out.
7:38 PM: He gets dried off and steps up to the sink to brush his teeth. He insists on unscrewing the cap on the toddler toothpaste. He brushes by himself for a bit, then I help.
7:40 PM: Teeth are brushed. He asks for drink of water before bed, then it's off to his bedroom to put on jammies.
7:41 PM: He went into his room willingly, but he doesn't want to put his diaper on. He's running around his room acting silly. I ask him several times to come over and put his diaper on, but he doesn't respond. This results in me picking him up, setting him down on his bed, and wrestling a diaper on him. Again, consequences and follow-through. I'm remarkably zen through these episodes, but they exhaust me.
7:45 PM: Diaper is on. He's upset again, so we snuggle on the bed and talk about it. Again, after the initial battle, the rest of the process (jammies, socks, slippers) goes very smoothly.
Note: In writing down the day, I'm realizing that most of his tantrums are directly related to getting dressed/undressed. Interesting...
7:50 AM: It's time to read stories. Since I did bath and jammies tonight, Ben does stories and songs. I give Will a big kiss and leave him snuggled up with Daddy in bed.
8:00 PM: Ben leaves Will's room. Will is singing in bed.
8:05 PM: I hear Will get up and lay by his door. He talks under the door "Mama, where are you? Daddy, where are you? Are you guys in the kitchen?" I listen (and laugh) for a few minutes, then head into his room. The minute I open the door he gets up and runs straight back to bed. I cover him up and give him another kiss.
8:06 PM: He stays put, but is still talking/singing in bed.
8:10 PM: Things are getting quieter in his room.
8:16 PM: Will's sound asleep. Ben and I clean the kitchen and pick up the house a bit.
9:00 PM: I'm in bed, usually working, reading or catching up on TV shows (I watch almost everything online these days).
10:30 PM: Ben comes to bed. By this point, I've typically fallen asleep doing whatever I was doing, so Ben puts my computer/book away and removes my glasses for me. I stir, mumble something incoherently to him, and drift back off to sleep.
Whew! It's amazing all we do in a day. A day with a toddler is never dull, that's for sure!
6:50 AM: I wake-up to Will chattering happily in his room. He's always in such a good mood in the mornings.
6:55 AM: Ben has been up for a while getting ready for work. He goes into Will's room to say good morning and change his clothes. I buy a couple extra minutes under the covers.
7:00 AM: Will runs into our room and climbs into bed with me. "Mama, do you want to get up?" We head into the kitchen to have breakfast.
7:05 AM: After perusing the cereal selection in his cabinet, Will selects Crispex (his favorite). He helps me pour cereal into a bowl and requests milk and a banana. I get him all set and make myself some coffee. I decide on oatmeal this morning, which Will wants to sample as well. "Mama, will you please share?"
7:15 AM: Ben leaves for work. Will runs to his room to watch Daddy drive away. He then comes back to the kitchen to finish his breakfast.
7:30 AM: I'm still sipping coffee, but Will is done eating. He hops out of his chair and plays in the living room while I listen to NPR (Morning Edition) and clean the kitchen.
7:40 AM: I join him in the living room and we play trains. His favorite game right now is pretending to load and unload cargo. He likes to tell me what's just arrived. "This is apples, Mama. And this is milk."
8:00 AM: I need to shower and get ready for the day. In a perfect world, this would happen before Will gets up, but I'm pregnant and
8:12 AM: Video's over and I'm out of the shower. He asks to watch it again, but I say no (we try and limit his screen time to an hour or less a day). He helps me pick out my clothes ("Mama, that shirt is cute") and I get dressed.
8:20 AM: I'm doing my hair and makeup. Will is playing in the living room with his puzzles. When he hears the blow dryer, he runs into the bathroom so I can blow dry his hair too.
8:40 AM: We brush our teeth in his bathroom. He likes to start the electric toothbrush for me. While helping him with his teeth, I notice he has another molar. This may explain some of especially cranky behavior lately. Only one molar to go!
8:42 AM: Tooth brushing is over. He asks to fill up his cup with some water from the sink. He takes a drink, puts his tooth brush in the cup, and says "OK, bye!" on his way to his next adventure.
8:45 AM: I pry him away from his trains, and we start the "heading out the door" process. We put on his shoes, coat, hat and mittens. He helps me button my coat. I grab his backpack and my wallet. We head out to the car and get buckled up.
8:55 AM: We leave for swim class. We'd normally have another 10 minutes at home, but it's really snowy and slippery today so I want some extra travel time.
9:10 AM: We arrive at swim lessons. There's an especially "jumpy" (i.e. upbeat) song on the radio, so Will asks to listen to the rest before we get out of the car.
9:12 AM: Song is over. I get out of the car and start to unbuckle Will from his car seat. He starts crying because "it's too windy" (which it is). I try to soothe him and explain that it's a quick walk to the door, but he's very upset to have to go out in the blizzard. He buries his head in my shoulder as we make our way through the snow drifts to the door.
9:15 AM: We've made it inside and and to the locker room. Will doesn't want to get undressed. Sigh. I'm trying to be patient, but lessons start in less than 15 minutes. I end up peeling his clothes off of him while he cries and protests. Eventually he's undressed and has his swimsuit on. He's no longer upset, in fact, he's now excited to go swimming. We head out of the locker room and wait for the teacher.
9:28 AM: Will names all the letters and colors he can find in the waiting area. He gets shy when the other little boy in his class arrives, and he buries his face in my legs.
9:30 AM: Class time! Will and Everett head into the pool with Ms. Alina for their swim lesson.
9:31 AM: I take a seat in the viewing area. I discuss local preschools with Everett's mom. The boys are the only class at this time, so it's nice at quiet at swim school. I love that he gets so much individual instruction and undivided attention from the teacher.
10:00 AM: Class is over. I remind Will to say "thank you" to Ms. Alina and we head into the locker room to shower and change.
10:02 AM: Will rinses off in the shower. He LOVES the shower. I think this is half the reason he enjoys swimming class so much.
10:05 AM: Will doesn't want to get dressed. He's stalling by packing and unpacking his duffel bag. I ask him to help me put his clothes on, but he refuses. So I've got to wrestle them on him. He's crying and complaining and thrashing around, but what can I do? I can't take him outside naked and I need to follow-through. I said it's time to get dressed, so we're going to get dressed. He fights me every step of the way (diaper, shirt, pants, socks, shoes, etc). This is particularly trying in the small locker room space where his tantrums disrupt the other parents/children.
Note: Cooperation is our biggest struggle right now. He knows the routine and what's coming next, but simply doesn't want to do it. We try and engage him in the process by offering choices ("It's time to get dressed. Do you want to put on your shirt or pants first?"), but rather than making a choice, he just ignores us or refuses to answer. I understand he's exerting his independence, but this can be SO FRUSTRATING.
10:23 AM: He's finally dressed. Despite fighting me the entire time, he's now in a great mood. I smile apologetically to the other mothers, pack up his bag, and get him bundled up to head outside.
10:25 AM: We leave swim school. The roads are TERRIBLE. I wanted to take him to the library today, but it looks like we have to go straight home. It takes me twice as long as normal, but we chat about the weather, look for snow plows, and sing songs on the radio.
10:48 AM: We're home. Will takes off his coat and shoes, then bounds into the living room to play.
11:13 AM: Will starts exhibiting some signals that he has to go #2 (asking for space, tugging on his bottom, etc.). I ask him if he wants to sit on the potty, but he declines. After a few minutes, he asks me to change his diaper, but it's still clean. He's all clenched up and telling me his bottom hurts, which are pretty clear indicators. We go into the bathroom together and I gently encourage him to sit on the potty. He cries and says that he can't, but eventually sits. He goes almost immediately. He's so proud and excited. I make a mental note that we're probably ready to seriously potty train. I help him get cleaned up and wash his hands.
Note: We've been casually potty training since the fall, basically offering the potty as an option and letting him decide if he wants to or not. He goes #1 almost every night before bed, and #2 when we manage to catch his signals. He still wears diapers 100% of the time, but I think he's ready to make the move to underwear.
11:45 AM: Lunch time. Today we're having a peanut butter sandwich, carrots, yogurt and grapes. Pretty standard.
12:05 PM: Will's done eating. He asks if we can paint, but I need to clean up from lunch, so he settles for crayons (which require less supervision).
12:10 PM: Coloring was short lived. Will's back in the living room playing with puzzles.
12:20 PM: I'm done cleaning the kitchen, so I join Will for some playtime. He's working on his new 25-piece animal puzzles (there are four puzzles total). His favorite is the elephant.
12:55 PM: It's nearly nap time. We head into Will's room to change his diaper and read some books ("Mama, do you want to read my stories?").
1:15 PM: I leave Will's room. He goes down for naps so easily. I hear him talking to Barkley (his stuffed dog) in bed, but he's sound asleep within 10 minutes. He usually naps 2-3 hours in the afternoon. I use this time to work, catch-up on emails, check Facebook, read, etc.
4:04 PM: I fell asleep (yay, pregnancy!), but I wake-up to Will chattering happily in his room. I lay in bed for a minute, then swoop in to give him a kiss. I change his diaper and ask him what he wants to do next. He elects to play with his trucks in baby sister's room. We sit down together to "dig and scoop and dump" with the trucks.
4:40 PM: Will hears the back door open ("Oh! Daddy's home!"). He runs into the kitchen to give Ben a big bear hug and drags him back to baby sister's room to play. "Daddy, this is the big, big yellow wheel loader! It has a big black bucket for lifting dirt." Ben and I catch up on the day while playing with Will.
5:20 PM: I leave Daddy and Will to play while I start dinner. We're having pan seared rosemary chicken and wilted balsamic kale for dinner.
5:50 PM: Will is a very picky eater, so I prepare something for him too. We put whatever we're having on his plate, but he typically won't eat it. Tonight he has pasta with marinara, string cheese and blueberries, in addition to a small portion of our chicken and kale.
6:00 PM: Dinner time! We sit down at the table to eat together. Will gobbles up his pasta, cheese and fruit. He tries the kale, but doesn't touch the chicken. Child still won't eat meat. I keep expecting him to grow out of it, but who knows.
6:22 PM: Will is done eating. Ben and I are still dining and conversing. Will brings his trains into the dining room and plays under the table.
6:35 PM: Ben and I clear the table. We elect to clean the kitchen after Will goes to bed, so we can get some more playtime in now.
7:00 PM: I draw Will's bath. Will helps Daddy clean up his toys, then heads into his room to pick out his jammies. Tonight he selects his airplane jammies. We set his jammies, socks, slipper and diaper on his bed.
7:08 PM: It's time to get in the bath. Will requests a parade into the bathroom. We all line up and march through the house singing, "I love a parade!"
7:12 PM: We end up in the bathroom. Door shuts and it's time to get undressed. Will doesn't want to get undressed and tries to bargain for another activity. I try to keep him focused, but he doesn't respond to choices ("Do you want to take off your shirt of pants first?"). He's deliberately ignoring me, so after asking him three times I choose for him ("Since you are unable to share your preference, Mama chooses shirt"). This upsets him ("No, Mama, pants! Pants, please!"), but we're trying to work with him on cooperating and listening the first time he's asked. One of our consequences is "when you do not listen, you loose your choices." Since he could not offer a choice when asked, it becomes my decision.
7:16 PM: He's upset and refusing to cooperate, so I literally have to wrestle him out of his shirt. Seriously, this kid has the strength of 10 grown men. It would be way easier just to give in and do his pants first, but we're trying to follow-through on the limits and consequences we set. He can't refuse to answer until a consequence is delivered. So shirt it is.
7:20 PM: I eventually get his shirt off and he cries in my lap for awhile. I empathize with his emotion ("I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated, buddy") and explain the context ("That's why it's important to listen the first time Mama asks. Next time, please tell me your choice when I ask you"). We have lots of snuggles and hugs. He takes a deep breath ("I'm all better!") and I ask him if he'd like to do his pants or socks next. He chooses pants. After the initial battle, the rest of the choices go very smoothly.
7:25 PM: He's totally undressed. I ask him if he'd like to sit on the potty or get in the bathtub. He chooses potty. He goes #1 almost immediately. This is pretty routine for him now. He flushes the toilet and washes his hands.
7:27 PM: He "jumps" in the tub (with my assistance). We play with his bath letters, practice the back float from swim class, blow bubbles, and listen for fish. In between all that fun, I manage to also wash his hair and scrub him down with the wash cloth. He helps me pull up the drain and "swims" on his belly while the water is draining out.
7:38 PM: He gets dried off and steps up to the sink to brush his teeth. He insists on unscrewing the cap on the toddler toothpaste. He brushes by himself for a bit, then I help.
7:40 PM: Teeth are brushed. He asks for drink of water before bed, then it's off to his bedroom to put on jammies.
7:41 PM: He went into his room willingly, but he doesn't want to put his diaper on. He's running around his room acting silly. I ask him several times to come over and put his diaper on, but he doesn't respond. This results in me picking him up, setting him down on his bed, and wrestling a diaper on him. Again, consequences and follow-through. I'm remarkably zen through these episodes, but they exhaust me.
7:45 PM: Diaper is on. He's upset again, so we snuggle on the bed and talk about it. Again, after the initial battle, the rest of the process (jammies, socks, slippers) goes very smoothly.
Note: In writing down the day, I'm realizing that most of his tantrums are directly related to getting dressed/undressed. Interesting...
7:50 AM: It's time to read stories. Since I did bath and jammies tonight, Ben does stories and songs. I give Will a big kiss and leave him snuggled up with Daddy in bed.
8:00 PM: Ben leaves Will's room. Will is singing in bed.
8:05 PM: I hear Will get up and lay by his door. He talks under the door "Mama, where are you? Daddy, where are you? Are you guys in the kitchen?" I listen (and laugh) for a few minutes, then head into his room. The minute I open the door he gets up and runs straight back to bed. I cover him up and give him another kiss.
8:06 PM: He stays put, but is still talking/singing in bed.
8:10 PM: Things are getting quieter in his room.
8:16 PM: Will's sound asleep. Ben and I clean the kitchen and pick up the house a bit.
9:00 PM: I'm in bed, usually working, reading or catching up on TV shows (I watch almost everything online these days).
10:30 PM: Ben comes to bed. By this point, I've typically fallen asleep doing whatever I was doing, so Ben puts my computer/book away and removes my glasses for me. I stir, mumble something incoherently to him, and drift back off to sleep.
Whew! It's amazing all we do in a day. A day with a toddler is never dull, that's for sure!
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Pregnancy 2.0
Perhaps the biggest news since I stopped blogging in May: we're expecting again! We're due in April 2013 with a beautiful baby girl. Here are all the details on pregnancy 2.0, including finding out, the first trimester, the gender reveal, and more.
Finding Out
I had been at a conference in Louisville for four days and just didn't feel "right". I was really tired and not feeling that hot, which I attributed to traveling.
After I got home I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off, and over breakfast I said to Ben: "I bet you I'm pregnant." On my way to work that morning I had to pull over to dry heave, which pretty much confirmed my suspicions. Sure enough, a home pregnancy test later that evening was positive!
To be honest, I was excited, but a bit freaked. I was thrilled we were having another baby, but getting pregnant wasn't supposed to happen until after I graduated in December. I still had my last semester of graduate school ahead of me, not to mention two demanding part-time jobs. Another lesson in having to go the flow... it turns out I can't plan everything!
The First Trimester
After my easy-breezy pregnancy with Will, I was shocked by how awful I felt this time around. I was exhausted and nauseous 24/7. I remember being tired with Will, but not like this. There were many days I would shut Will and I in his room and take a nap on the floor while he played. I physically couldn't keep my eyes open!
Then there was the morning sickness. Or all-day sickness as Ben liked to call it. I realize now how fortunate I was in my pregnancy with Will. It's still amazing to me how I managed to function. I very rarely vomited, but I was nauseous constantly. From the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed. I pretty much existed on saltine crackers and water, as I couldn't stomach anything else. But just as quickly as it came, the sickness subsided seemingly overnight around week 13. Since then, I've been feeling great!
The Gender Reveal
Ben and I debated not finding out the gender this time around, but ultimately we wanted to help Will prepare for a brother or a sister. Right or wrong, we felt that being able to share the gender with him might help with explaining the pregnancy and the big changes that would be coming to our family.
We both suspected it was a girl early on, since my pregnancy had been so different. As a result, we started calling baby "BG" and "Beej" (short for Baby Girl) in my first trimester. I was eager to find out out the gender, but I was much more anxious about the ultrasound this time around. When I was pregnant with Will, I didn't fully realize all they were really looking at in the ultrasound (heart, brain, spine, overall development). I was just excited to go in for a peek at my baby! The second time around, your child feels so much more "real" than the first. You've done the parenting gig, and know first-hand just how precious and amazing their little lives are. Fortunately, she's perfectly healthy (and totally adorable)...
The 20 week ultrasound was right before our six year wedding anniversary, so we decided to have the ultrasound tech write the gender in an envelope for us to open at our anniversary dinner. But instead of just opening the envelope at the table, we asked the chef to make us a pink or blue dessert to reveal the baby's gender. It was a really fun evening, and we were over the moon when a little pink cannoli arrived at our table...
The Third Trimester and Beyond
I start my third trimester soon, which is just crazy. I can't believe how quickly things are going. As is the life of a second child though... they will never be your sole focus!
We've started throwing around ideas for girl names... Emma, Olivia, Norah and Charlotte currently top our list. The middle name will be either Frances or Louise, after my mom.
I hope to start on the nursery at the end of the month... we've been putting it off because we will no longer have a guest bedroom. We're going with a yellow and gray theme, which has been a lot of fun to pull pieces for. I find myself being drawn to a lot of bird decor (like this piece and this piece), so it will be interesting to see how it all comes together.
We've also been reading up on ways to prepare Will for BG's arrival. We got some books on being a big brother, and I've been reviewing ways to "introduce" siblings in the hospital. If you've done this before and have any tips, I'd greatly appreciate them.
Finding Out
I had been at a conference in Louisville for four days and just didn't feel "right". I was really tired and not feeling that hot, which I attributed to traveling.
After I got home I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off, and over breakfast I said to Ben: "I bet you I'm pregnant." On my way to work that morning I had to pull over to dry heave, which pretty much confirmed my suspicions. Sure enough, a home pregnancy test later that evening was positive!
 |
| Oh, hello there! |
To be honest, I was excited, but a bit freaked. I was thrilled we were having another baby, but getting pregnant wasn't supposed to happen until after I graduated in December. I still had my last semester of graduate school ahead of me, not to mention two demanding part-time jobs. Another lesson in having to go the flow... it turns out I can't plan everything!
The First Trimester
After my easy-breezy pregnancy with Will, I was shocked by how awful I felt this time around. I was exhausted and nauseous 24/7. I remember being tired with Will, but not like this. There were many days I would shut Will and I in his room and take a nap on the floor while he played. I physically couldn't keep my eyes open!
Then there was the morning sickness. Or all-day sickness as Ben liked to call it. I realize now how fortunate I was in my pregnancy with Will. It's still amazing to me how I managed to function. I very rarely vomited, but I was nauseous constantly. From the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed. I pretty much existed on saltine crackers and water, as I couldn't stomach anything else. But just as quickly as it came, the sickness subsided seemingly overnight around week 13. Since then, I've been feeling great!
The Gender Reveal
Ben and I debated not finding out the gender this time around, but ultimately we wanted to help Will prepare for a brother or a sister. Right or wrong, we felt that being able to share the gender with him might help with explaining the pregnancy and the big changes that would be coming to our family.
We both suspected it was a girl early on, since my pregnancy had been so different. As a result, we started calling baby "BG" and "Beej" (short for Baby Girl) in my first trimester. I was eager to find out out the gender, but I was much more anxious about the ultrasound this time around. When I was pregnant with Will, I didn't fully realize all they were really looking at in the ultrasound (heart, brain, spine, overall development). I was just excited to go in for a peek at my baby! The second time around, your child feels so much more "real" than the first. You've done the parenting gig, and know first-hand just how precious and amazing their little lives are. Fortunately, she's perfectly healthy (and totally adorable)...
 |
| BG - 20 Weeks |
The 20 week ultrasound was right before our six year wedding anniversary, so we decided to have the ultrasound tech write the gender in an envelope for us to open at our anniversary dinner. But instead of just opening the envelope at the table, we asked the chef to make us a pink or blue dessert to reveal the baby's gender. It was a really fun evening, and we were over the moon when a little pink cannoli arrived at our table...
 |
| It's a girl! |
The Third Trimester and Beyond
I start my third trimester soon, which is just crazy. I can't believe how quickly things are going. As is the life of a second child though... they will never be your sole focus!
We've started throwing around ideas for girl names... Emma, Olivia, Norah and Charlotte currently top our list. The middle name will be either Frances or Louise, after my mom.
I hope to start on the nursery at the end of the month... we've been putting it off because we will no longer have a guest bedroom. We're going with a yellow and gray theme, which has been a lot of fun to pull pieces for. I find myself being drawn to a lot of bird decor (like this piece and this piece), so it will be interesting to see how it all comes together.
We've also been reading up on ways to prepare Will for BG's arrival. We got some books on being a big brother, and I've been reviewing ways to "introduce" siblings in the hospital. If you've done this before and have any tips, I'd greatly appreciate them.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
I'm baaaaack!
If I'm popping up in your blog reader... surprise! After a 6+ month hiatus, I've decided to resurrect the blog.
Turns out, I really missed this whole blogging gig. Specifically, I missed writing about my kid. About parenting. About pregnancy. I missed recording my joys, frustrations, challenges and triumphs. Perhaps most importantly, I missed writing it all down so I could actually remember it.
So I'm back. :)
There have been many changes in our lives since my last post. We're expecting another baby (a girl!). Will started and stopped preschool (more on that soon). I only have one part-time job now instead of two (priorities, people). I graduated with my master's degree (no more homework!).
I feel like I have so much to tell you. We'll get caught up and re-aquainted in the coming weeks. But in the meantime, I missed you!
Turns out, I really missed this whole blogging gig. Specifically, I missed writing about my kid. About parenting. About pregnancy. I missed recording my joys, frustrations, challenges and triumphs. Perhaps most importantly, I missed writing it all down so I could actually remember it.
So I'm back. :)
There have been many changes in our lives since my last post. We're expecting another baby (a girl!). Will started and stopped preschool (more on that soon). I only have one part-time job now instead of two (priorities, people). I graduated with my master's degree (no more homework!).
I feel like I have so much to tell you. We'll get caught up and re-aquainted in the coming weeks. But in the meantime, I missed you!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
29 Years Old
I actually wrote this right after my birthday last month, but never posted it. My friend Maggie did this for her 29th earlier this year. I am unabashedly stealing the idea. (Thanks, Maggie! xoxo)
I make a point to chronicle Will's growth and development (almost) every month, but what about my own? I turned 29 on Tuesday (March 20), and I took a moment to reflect on the year that was. Here are my thoughts, which I hope I will find endlessly entertaining 10 years from now.
What did you read?
Almost all of my reading was dedicated to graduate school. The stuff I enjoyed the most was on adult learning theory, technology trends, and student retention initiatives. I fully understand that your eyes just glazed over (Ben, I'm talking to you). But I love it, thus why I'm studying it.
I did find a little time for fun reading over interim breaks, which allowed me to read the Hunger Games trilogy (Suzanne Collins), Enrique's Journey (Sonia Nazario), Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me And Other Concerns (Mindy Kaling), Run (Ann Patchett), and The Night Circus (Erin Morgenstern). Although I have traditionally preferred reading nonfiction or classics, I'm definitely in a contemporary fiction phase. I attribute this largely to the amount of scholarly reading I do on a monthly basis. Fiction provides an escape.
What did you watch?
TV shows I obsessed over this year include: Downton Abbey (PBS) and Sons of Anarchy (FX). We also watch a ton of old shows on Netflix. I'm still working through Brothers & Sisters, but I got through all the seasons of Gossip Girl and the one glorious season of My So Called Life early this year.
What did you do with your spare time?
Ha. Ha, ha. Oh, that's a serious question.
Well, if you define "spare" time as time not used working or being with my family, I guess most of my "spare" time goes to graduate school. I typically do most of my homework between the hours of 8:00 and 11:00 PM, so that leaves little time for a social life if I also want to see my husband, sleep and be up with my kid at 7:00 AM.
When I do manage to get out, it's usually for drinks, dinner or a run. All of which I enjoy. All of which help me chill out and reconnect with myself.
Where did you go?
We haven't taken a real vacation in years. Years. We did go to Door County last summer, but we had to cut our trip short to close on our new house. I visited my dear high school girlfriends in St. Paul for our annual sleepover. And made countless trips (at least once a month) back to my parents' house in Minnesota. We also spent some time in Madison for football games, and one particularly raucous hockey game.
What thrilled you?
Selling our house in just a month! We had a kick ass realtor, and I had that place staged damn cute. We worked our butts off for that offer, but we did it. And we love our new place.
What scared you?
My Mom and Dad were both in really serious car accidents. Mom vs. ditch in November and Dad vs. car going 55 MPG while on his motorcycle in March (just two days before my birthday, in fact).
What are you most proud of?
Juggling it all - mom, wife, student, professional, informed citizen. It's not always pretty, but most days I'm making it work.
What would you do over?
I need to figure out how to say yes to less. Just because an opportunity is exciting, doesn't mean I have to do it. I need to prioritize and find focus.
If I could go back, I would also obsess less over Will's helmet. Although it felt very major at the time, it really was such a relatively short period of time. I'm glad we did it and I'm glad it's over. But it wasn't worth all my worry and tears. We made it through, his head is beautiful, and everyone is fine.
How's married life?
I need to find more time for Ben. He often gets overlooked in the chaos. But I love him with all my heart. He's the one person who can always make me laugh, let me cry, etc. He just "gets" me. And at the end of the day, there's no one I'd rather snuggle up next to.
How's parenthood?
Will is, without a doubt, the greatest thing I will ever do with my life. The toddler stage can be trying at times, but more often than not, it's a blast. I love this age way more than having an infant. Watching him learn and interact with the world is so awesome.
How's work?
Work is crazy busy. In case you haven't been keeping track, I now have two part-time jobs and a full-time graduate student schedule. Insane! Every day is an exercise on finding balance. I'm still learning, and trying to figure out how to prioritize.
What's next?
The next year is poised to be a big one... I'm graduating in December, and Ben and I have started talking about having another baby. I really don't want to start trying until after I'm done with school, but hopefully I will have some fun baby news to share before my next birthday. Not to mention that birthday will be a big one... 30 (eek!).
I make a point to chronicle Will's growth and development (almost) every month, but what about my own? I turned 29 on Tuesday (March 20), and I took a moment to reflect on the year that was. Here are my thoughts, which I hope I will find endlessly entertaining 10 years from now.
What did you read?
Almost all of my reading was dedicated to graduate school. The stuff I enjoyed the most was on adult learning theory, technology trends, and student retention initiatives. I fully understand that your eyes just glazed over (Ben, I'm talking to you). But I love it, thus why I'm studying it.
I did find a little time for fun reading over interim breaks, which allowed me to read the Hunger Games trilogy (Suzanne Collins), Enrique's Journey (Sonia Nazario), Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me And Other Concerns (Mindy Kaling), Run (Ann Patchett), and The Night Circus (Erin Morgenstern). Although I have traditionally preferred reading nonfiction or classics, I'm definitely in a contemporary fiction phase. I attribute this largely to the amount of scholarly reading I do on a monthly basis. Fiction provides an escape.
What did you watch?
TV shows I obsessed over this year include: Downton Abbey (PBS) and Sons of Anarchy (FX). We also watch a ton of old shows on Netflix. I'm still working through Brothers & Sisters, but I got through all the seasons of Gossip Girl and the one glorious season of My So Called Life early this year.
What did you do with your spare time?
Ha. Ha, ha. Oh, that's a serious question.
Well, if you define "spare" time as time not used working or being with my family, I guess most of my "spare" time goes to graduate school. I typically do most of my homework between the hours of 8:00 and 11:00 PM, so that leaves little time for a social life if I also want to see my husband, sleep and be up with my kid at 7:00 AM.
When I do manage to get out, it's usually for drinks, dinner or a run. All of which I enjoy. All of which help me chill out and reconnect with myself.
Where did you go?
We haven't taken a real vacation in years. Years. We did go to Door County last summer, but we had to cut our trip short to close on our new house. I visited my dear high school girlfriends in St. Paul for our annual sleepover. And made countless trips (at least once a month) back to my parents' house in Minnesota. We also spent some time in Madison for football games, and one particularly raucous hockey game.
What thrilled you?
Selling our house in just a month! We had a kick ass realtor, and I had that place staged damn cute. We worked our butts off for that offer, but we did it. And we love our new place.
What scared you?
My Mom and Dad were both in really serious car accidents. Mom vs. ditch in November and Dad vs. car going 55 MPG while on his motorcycle in March (just two days before my birthday, in fact).
What are you most proud of?
Juggling it all - mom, wife, student, professional, informed citizen. It's not always pretty, but most days I'm making it work.
What would you do over?
I need to figure out how to say yes to less. Just because an opportunity is exciting, doesn't mean I have to do it. I need to prioritize and find focus.
If I could go back, I would also obsess less over Will's helmet. Although it felt very major at the time, it really was such a relatively short period of time. I'm glad we did it and I'm glad it's over. But it wasn't worth all my worry and tears. We made it through, his head is beautiful, and everyone is fine.
How's married life?
I need to find more time for Ben. He often gets overlooked in the chaos. But I love him with all my heart. He's the one person who can always make me laugh, let me cry, etc. He just "gets" me. And at the end of the day, there's no one I'd rather snuggle up next to.
How's parenthood?
Will is, without a doubt, the greatest thing I will ever do with my life. The toddler stage can be trying at times, but more often than not, it's a blast. I love this age way more than having an infant. Watching him learn and interact with the world is so awesome.
How's work?
Work is crazy busy. In case you haven't been keeping track, I now have two part-time jobs and a full-time graduate student schedule. Insane! Every day is an exercise on finding balance. I'm still learning, and trying to figure out how to prioritize.
What's next?
The next year is poised to be a big one... I'm graduating in December, and Ben and I have started talking about having another baby. I really don't want to start trying until after I'm done with school, but hopefully I will have some fun baby news to share before my next birthday. Not to mention that birthday will be a big one... 30 (eek!).
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
On Being A Mother
There are a lot of great motherhood quotes out there, but I recently (as in five seconds ago) came across this one from Kourtney Kardashian...
Being a mother is powerful, selfless and beautiful.
I know everyone isn't keen on the Kardashians, but I love Kourtney. She's bright, fashionable, and seems to be a really good mom. I see in Kourtney a lot of what I've experienced as a mother... more confidence, seemingly super-human drive, and a greater sense of self.
My friend Maggie recently gave thanks for all the changes motherhood has ushered into her life. Being a parent isn't always easy, but from what you give up, you gain so much more.
As a mother, I care significantly less about what other people think. I stand by my decisions. I'm unapologetic (unless an apology is warranted). I'm more respectful. I care more. I connect with loved ones in more meaningful ways. I take charge. I'm more accountable. I'm more flexible. I don't take things personally. I'm always putting someone else's needs first. I understand the importance of self care. I show more empathy to others. I set goals and stick to them. I'm more purposeful. I'm amazing.
In any given day, I sleep less and do more. I am powerful, selfless and beautiful. I am a mother.
Being a mother is powerful, selfless and beautiful.
I know everyone isn't keen on the Kardashians, but I love Kourtney. She's bright, fashionable, and seems to be a really good mom. I see in Kourtney a lot of what I've experienced as a mother... more confidence, seemingly super-human drive, and a greater sense of self.
My friend Maggie recently gave thanks for all the changes motherhood has ushered into her life. Being a parent isn't always easy, but from what you give up, you gain so much more.
As a mother, I care significantly less about what other people think. I stand by my decisions. I'm unapologetic (unless an apology is warranted). I'm more respectful. I care more. I connect with loved ones in more meaningful ways. I take charge. I'm more accountable. I'm more flexible. I don't take things personally. I'm always putting someone else's needs first. I understand the importance of self care. I show more empathy to others. I set goals and stick to them. I'm more purposeful. I'm amazing.
In any given day, I sleep less and do more. I am powerful, selfless and beautiful. I am a mother.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Blog Challenge Day 20: Picture Yourself
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| Kisses |
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| Being silly |
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