Naptime FAIL

I know I shouldn't give him a bottle to help him fall asleep. But sometimes when he's overtired, won't settle down and I know he'll eat, I do it anyway.

Today was one of those days.

Will sleep for food

These moments

It's late. Close to midnight. I've just finished my homework and I hear you starting to fuss from your room. It's more than "going back to sleep" fussing, so I listen for a moment then creep in to give you your pacifier. It doesn't help though and you start to cry.

This is rare for you these days, so I know something is wrong. Your gums hurt or you're scared. Or maybe you just want Mama. Whatever the case, I pick you up in my arms and sit with you in the rocking chair. You quiet instantly, and snuggle your little face into my chest.

We sit there rocking together. I'm singing softly and you're looking up at me. I feel like my heart is literally going to explode from loving you so much. Slowly you start to nod off. I kiss your sweet little hands and cheeks, gently pick you up and lay you peacefully back in your crib.

These are the moments that I am forever thankful for. And the ones that I will hold on to for the rest of my life.

Seperation Anxiety

Will has a pretty good case of the "I want Mama's", which is 80% cute and 20% frustrating. It's cute when he wants to snuggle and cuddle all day. When he can't get enough books and songs. When he's thrilled just to take it all in from my arms or lap. When I know I'm his greatest comfort and joy in this world.

But it's super frustrating when he refuses to be put down for five seconds (even though Mama really, really has to pee) and right now, at bedtime, when he bursts out crying whenever I leave the room.

Sigh.

A plague on our household

My poor baby is sick. Runny, stuffy nose and a fever (101.5 degrees). He's so uncomfortable, it just breaks my heart.

I'm anticipating a rough night sleeping, but that's OK. I don't mind getting up frequently with him when he's sick. My baby needs me! It's when he's healthy and just electing not to sleep that it gets old (for the record, he's been sleeping great for the past three weeks).

He can't wear his helmet while he has a fever, so I feel like we're going to undo all the great progress we've made so far. Rationally, I know that can't happen in just one or two nights, but parenthood is not always a rational state of mind. I just checked on him, and thankfully he's sleeping on his side.

Hoping it's a short-lived bug. Lots of fresh air and fluids tomorrow!

Baby Insomnia

Way back in December, Will slept through the night for the first time. Despite the fact that I woke up in a panic and poked him to make sure he was still breathing (he was), it was awesome. There is no greater thrill than 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep when you're a new parent.

When he slept through the night again the following evening, Ben and I were sure it was a pattern. We were sure we were finally in for smooth sleep sailing. Naturally, we couldn't have been more wrong.

Not only did Will stop sleeping through the night, but he virtually quit taking naps and started waking frequently. Like four or five times a night. So the most sleep we ever got was 2-3 hours at a time. Not cool, child.

To make matters worse, since Will wasn't getting enough sleep at night, he was crabby all day long. And since he was crabby and overtired all day long, he was unable or unwilling to nap for more than 20 minutes at a time. Kill. Me. Now.

Luckily I had a friend to commiserate with. Insomnia and sleeplessness is so much easier to tolerate when someone else is doing it with you. We grumbled about the parents whose children supposedly sleep through the night within the first month, and decided that if you have one of those blessed miracle babies then you should keep that information to yourself. All it does is make the rest of us feel bad.

But then, out of nowhere, Will suddenly started sleeping. First, he stopped taking his middle of the night bottle (on his own), and then one night he just slept. All night long (7:00 PM - 6:00 AM). And he's continued doing it. For the past 10 days. Bliss.

Now that I'm on the other side (for now), I see what those other moms were talking about. When your baby starts sleeping, it's one of the most thrilling things in the world. I literally want to shout it from the roof tops: My baby finally sleeps through the night! I'm rested for the first time in 7 months! He takes hour long naps, which means I get hour long breaks during the day! Wheeee!

So to my friend who continues to have sleep struggles, I'm sorry, and I love you. I've been there, and it sucks. Rest assured, when it finally does happen, you will appreciate it way more than those lucky bitches (er, ah, fortunate new moms) who had sleeping babies at 6 weeks.