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| The rough life |
Monday, July 15, 2013
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
We've Come A Long Way, Baby
Last week, I was sipping coffee with a friend when an elderly woman approached us and asked how old Charlotte is. We exchanged pleasantries and gushed over my beautiful baby. As the woman was leaving she said, "Motherhood suits you, my dear! You're a natural."
Fast forward to today as I stopped to nurse Charlotte at a local parenting store. I entered the lounge area, which was empty except for another mother who was trying to soothe her fussy little one. The woman looked frazzled. The baby was cranky, her diaper bag had spilled all over the floor, she had spit-up on her shoulder. She was pretty much a hot mess. I slipped her a sympathetic smile, glided over to a chair and started nursing my smiley, serene baby when it struck me:
I was this woman just three short years ago.
The baby's grandmother was also with them, and we started chatting. "How old is your baby?" the grandmother asked. "Three months today," I responded. "Maddy just turned two months," the grandmother replied. "Have you found it gets easier each month?"
At this point, the mother looked up at me with that frazzled, stressed out look I remember too well. That look of... "Please, just tell me this is going to get better." That look of... "This can't always be this bad, can it? CAN IT?!?"
I smiled and said that Charlotte is our second baby, and that it's been a much easier adjustment this time around. Then I looked straight at the mother and said, "My older son was a really challenging infant. How are you doing?"
And the floodgates opened. She teared up and told me about how her baby doesn't sleep. How her baby screams for hours a day. How she's pumping because the baby won't latch. How her milk supply is running out. How she feels terrible for having to start formula. How she's desperate for her husband to come home in the evening because she just can't take it anymore.
I listened. I empathized. I avoided giving advice because she's doing what she knows best. It's not like there's a magic formula for dealing with a colicky baby. Other than time. And alcohol.
What I did tell her is that I'm a strong believer in the "fourth trimester" (the three months after birth in which the baby is adjusting to life outside the womb). That things did get easier as Will got older. That he's a bright, curious, sweet, sensitive little boy now. That I still think back to his early-infancy and shudder (seriously people, if you've never had a colicky baby, you just can't imagine the hell). That it took us a long, damn time to even think about having another kid. That finding other like-minded mom friends was the only way I survived (and continue to survive). That I eventually found my footing as a parent, and she will too.
It's almost as if I was talking to myself three years ago. I wish I would have had more people around me back then to help normalize my experience. To remind me that I'm not doing anything wrong. That I'm doing the best I can. That I'm not failing as a mother.
As they got up to leave, I looked down at my sweet, sleeping Charlotte and realized...
We've come a long way, baby.
Fast forward to today as I stopped to nurse Charlotte at a local parenting store. I entered the lounge area, which was empty except for another mother who was trying to soothe her fussy little one. The woman looked frazzled. The baby was cranky, her diaper bag had spilled all over the floor, she had spit-up on her shoulder. She was pretty much a hot mess. I slipped her a sympathetic smile, glided over to a chair and started nursing my smiley, serene baby when it struck me:
I was this woman just three short years ago.
The baby's grandmother was also with them, and we started chatting. "How old is your baby?" the grandmother asked. "Three months today," I responded. "Maddy just turned two months," the grandmother replied. "Have you found it gets easier each month?"
At this point, the mother looked up at me with that frazzled, stressed out look I remember too well. That look of... "Please, just tell me this is going to get better." That look of... "This can't always be this bad, can it? CAN IT?!?"
I smiled and said that Charlotte is our second baby, and that it's been a much easier adjustment this time around. Then I looked straight at the mother and said, "My older son was a really challenging infant. How are you doing?"
And the floodgates opened. She teared up and told me about how her baby doesn't sleep. How her baby screams for hours a day. How she's pumping because the baby won't latch. How her milk supply is running out. How she feels terrible for having to start formula. How she's desperate for her husband to come home in the evening because she just can't take it anymore.
I listened. I empathized. I avoided giving advice because she's doing what she knows best. It's not like there's a magic formula for dealing with a colicky baby. Other than time. And alcohol.
What I did tell her is that I'm a strong believer in the "fourth trimester" (the three months after birth in which the baby is adjusting to life outside the womb). That things did get easier as Will got older. That he's a bright, curious, sweet, sensitive little boy now. That I still think back to his early-infancy and shudder (seriously people, if you've never had a colicky baby, you just can't imagine the hell). That it took us a long, damn time to even think about having another kid. That finding other like-minded mom friends was the only way I survived (and continue to survive). That I eventually found my footing as a parent, and she will too.
It's almost as if I was talking to myself three years ago. I wish I would have had more people around me back then to help normalize my experience. To remind me that I'm not doing anything wrong. That I'm doing the best I can. That I'm not failing as a mother.
As they got up to leave, I looked down at my sweet, sleeping Charlotte and realized...
We've come a long way, baby.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Two Months Old
Once again, this is late. Le sigh.
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| Charlotte Louise (June 2013) |
Dear Charlotte,
Oh, you are such a smiley girl. At two months old, you are smiling constantly. You love to catch someone's eye and grin from ear to ear. You give the most smiles to Mama, Daddy and Will, although you'll grin at just about anyone.
We've started calling you "bug" and its variations, including "baby bug", "smiley bug" and "bug-a-boo". The nickname just suits you. You have these comical cartoon faces and big, gorgeous eyes. You're the most darling, little, smoochable baby!
One of the biggest developments from the past month is that you're now sleeping in your own room. This happened right around the five week mark, and you've been a champ ever since. Although I miss snuggling with you at night, this transition has been best for everyone. I believe we're both sleeping more soundly now. Shortly after you made the transition to your crib, you started sleeping for longer and longer stretches... generally giving me 4-5 hours once a night.
In addition to sleeping in your own crib, I believe part of what's made you a better sleeper is your noise machine. You sleep so soundly during the hustle and bustle of our daily activities, yet we were putting you to bed at night in a completely silent room. Ambient noise seems to help you settle and stay asleep, so we run your noise machine on the "white noise" setting all night long.
Breastfeeding is still going great, and you've settled into a very predictable feeding routine. You generally wake around 7:00 AM, then eat every 2-3 hours throughout the day. You are a very efficient and eager eater... you take both breasts for most feedings and finish eating within 15-20 minutes.
We introduced a bottle at the 4 week mark, which you took no problem. You seem a little overwhelmed by the flow of the bottle at times, but it's great for Daddy to be able to help with feedings now (especially in the middle of the night!).
You are generally a happy baby, but you've been a little fussy in the evenings lately. One thing that seems to help you settle is a bath. Daddy usually bathes you, which is very special bonding time for both of you. You look up and coo at him in the warm water. It's so sweet.
The past month also brought your first cold. It was heartbreaking to see you so uncomfortable (runny nose, congestion, cough), but such is the plight of the second child. I don't think Will got a cold until he was over a year old, but you have the benefit of all his activities and friends to help boost your immune system.
My darling, you are such a precious, wonderful little girl. We love you so very much.
Love,
Mama
Monday, June 24, 2013
Around Here
- We're loving summer... our days are non-stop fun with the park, pool and plenty of play dates.
- Charlotte is so smiley. Her favorite person is her brother.
- Will is both completely awesome and unbelievably challenging. His emotions exist in such extremes... either overwhelmingly happy or overwhelmingly sad. I have to remind myself that he feels everything so deeply right now, and sometimes just doesn't know how to handle it.
- I'm obsessed with neon. Wait until you see my new front door.
- I've already read seven books this month. I predict nine before July 1.
- My surgeon says I'm an "exceptionally good" healer.
- We recently made the decision to ditch our Keurig.
- I've managed not to kill my garden yet. Veggies look awesome. Watermelons might not make it. Rabbits are the enemy.
- I was sick of all our old and mismatched socks so I threw out every single pair and bought new ones. I'm pretty sure Ben was still holding on to some socks from the 90s. And now, all our white socks are all the same brand and type so I can easily pair them back up. Win!
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Carbon Copies
Apparently Ben and I make only one type of child, male or female...
My sister and I have not looked alike a day in our lives, so I love that they look so similar. How fun to see the family resemblance!
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| Will, 2 months (left) and Charlotte, 2 months (right) |
My sister and I have not looked alike a day in our lives, so I love that they look so similar. How fun to see the family resemblance!
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
2 1/2 Years Old
Gah! I'm so late on these letters lately. Luckily I make notes so I can fill in details later. Better late than never... here is my letter to Will at 2 1/2 years old (February 2013).
Mama
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| Shy |
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| Silly |
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| Sweet |
Dear Will,
You turned 2 1/2 years old this week.
The occasion snuck up on me a little bit. We've been battling illness in our house lately, which means you and I (at 7 months pregnant) are both exhausted. We just can't seem to shake the sickies around here, but lucky for me, that means lots of extra snuggle time.
Despite being under the weather, you continue to be such a sweet and smiley boy. You literally light up my life every day. I'm amazed at how kind and intuitive you are. How sweet and sensitive. How funny and perceptive.
You continue to learn at a rapid pace. You now can identify all the uppercase letters, as well as numbers zero through nine. You love to point out letters when you see them. We were running errands a few weeks ago when you started reciting "O-T-E-G-R-A-T" over and over again. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what you were saying until I realized you were spelling "TARGET" backwards (with the bullseye symbol being an "O").
You absolutely love to sing. Your favorite song right now is the "ABCs" but you also make up your own tunes throughout the day. You really have an ear for music and can match pitch and intonation remarkably well.
You spend most of your time playing with trucks and trains. Your favorite truck is your mini steam shovel. You bring it everywhere with you... from your bed to the car to the library. You tell us all the time that it is "digging and scooping and dumping".
We don't watch much TV, but you love "Super Why" on PBS Kids. You shyly interact with the show, quietly calling out the letters when you see them and giving a "thumbs up" when prompted. So cute!
You started attending a part-time Montessori preschool in September, just after your second birthday. Although the first few weeks were rough (you cried every time I dropped you off), it wasn't long before you were running in the door excited to play. We've seen such a huge difference in your confidence since then. You are much more comfortable with new people and places, more willing to jump into unfamiliar situations. Unfortunately, your preschool closed right before Christmas, but I really credit the school and teachers for helping you develop your confidence and social skills.
Your sister will be here in just a few short months. You're such a kind and caring little boy, I know you'll be a wonderful sibling to her. In some ways, I'm sad to have our one-on-one dynamic change, but I'm so excited to see you in your new role: big brother.
I love you so much, sweet boy.
The occasion snuck up on me a little bit. We've been battling illness in our house lately, which means you and I (at 7 months pregnant) are both exhausted. We just can't seem to shake the sickies around here, but lucky for me, that means lots of extra snuggle time.
Despite being under the weather, you continue to be such a sweet and smiley boy. You literally light up my life every day. I'm amazed at how kind and intuitive you are. How sweet and sensitive. How funny and perceptive.
You continue to learn at a rapid pace. You now can identify all the uppercase letters, as well as numbers zero through nine. You love to point out letters when you see them. We were running errands a few weeks ago when you started reciting "O-T-E-G-R-A-T" over and over again. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what you were saying until I realized you were spelling "TARGET" backwards (with the bullseye symbol being an "O").
You absolutely love to sing. Your favorite song right now is the "ABCs" but you also make up your own tunes throughout the day. You really have an ear for music and can match pitch and intonation remarkably well.
You spend most of your time playing with trucks and trains. Your favorite truck is your mini steam shovel. You bring it everywhere with you... from your bed to the car to the library. You tell us all the time that it is "digging and scooping and dumping".
We don't watch much TV, but you love "Super Why" on PBS Kids. You shyly interact with the show, quietly calling out the letters when you see them and giving a "thumbs up" when prompted. So cute!
You started attending a part-time Montessori preschool in September, just after your second birthday. Although the first few weeks were rough (you cried every time I dropped you off), it wasn't long before you were running in the door excited to play. We've seen such a huge difference in your confidence since then. You are much more comfortable with new people and places, more willing to jump into unfamiliar situations. Unfortunately, your preschool closed right before Christmas, but I really credit the school and teachers for helping you develop your confidence and social skills.
Your sister will be here in just a few short months. You're such a kind and caring little boy, I know you'll be a wonderful sibling to her. In some ways, I'm sad to have our one-on-one dynamic change, but I'm so excited to see you in your new role: big brother.
I love you so much, sweet boy.
Love,
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Post-Op
Well, you've never experienced fun until you've carried your pee around in a bag outside your body.
Wednesday's surgery went well. The cyst was removed with just a minor complication. More of the cyst was attached to my urethra than they were expecting, so the surgeon had to reconstruct part of the urethral wall. This meant I had to wear a 24-hour catheter home, which was an absolute delight (as I'm sure you can imagine).
But the catheter came out this morning, and despite being a little sore and very sleepy, I'm feeling well. I was even able to nurse Charlotte earlier than expected, only 8 hours post-op.
I go back to see the surgeon on Tuesday, and can hopefully resume normal activity then (I'm on a lifting restriction again, so I can't lift Will or Charlotte's car seat until I get the all clear from the doc). Happy to have the procedure over and done with, though I have to say...
The anesthesia nap was delightful.
Monday, June 3, 2013
40 x 40
I turned 30 this year. Whereas my 20s were filled with a lot of change and growth (college, career, first home, marriage, children, etc), I'm looking forward to the relative stability of my fourth decade. Ben and I have a house we love, we're done having children, we're both steadily growing in our chosen careers... we're ready to just be for a bit.
While we may not have any major life events on the horizon, I still want to make sure I'm seeing and experiencing as much as I can. So to keep things fresh and interesting, I developed a sort of bucket list for my 30s. I give you my forty by forty list...
40 x 40
While we may not have any major life events on the horizon, I still want to make sure I'm seeing and experiencing as much as I can. So to keep things fresh and interesting, I developed a sort of bucket list for my 30s. I give you my forty by forty list...
40 x 40
- Run a half marathon
- Get a PhD
- Write a children's book
- Learn how to use my DSLR
- Read Atlas Shrugged (it's 1,168 pages!)
- Become a certified yoga instructor
- Take a 3-4 week trip abroad with the kids
- Enjoy a glass of wine in Napa Valley
- Complete a sprint-length off-road triathlon
- Take a beach vacation with Ben (children optional)
- Visit the Grand Canyon
- Learn how to play guitar
- Knit something
- Serve on the board of directors for a non-profit
- Learn how to use a sewing machine
- Make a quilt with my mom
- Visit New York City
- Master the art of the French press
- Learn to say "hello" in 20 languages
- Become a rock star chef on the grill
- Take a tap dancing class
- Go white water rafting
- Climb a rock wall
- Ride in a hot air balloon
- Learn to play poker
- Read every book that has won a Pulitzer Prize in the fiction category
- Give a speech in front of a large group of people
- Visit the White House
- Participate in NaNoWriMo
- Perform in a community theater production
- Win an award for personal or professional achievement
- Donate $1,000 to a non-profit I care about
- See the redwoods in California
- Go skiing in Colorado
- Take surfing lessons
- Give blood
- Join the National Bone Marrow Registry
- Host Thanksgiving dinner
- Get a tattoo
- Be part of a flash mob
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