The Truth About Boys

It seems horrible to say this out loud, but here it goes.

I really wanted a girl.

You always hear, "I just want a healthy baby!" Well yeah, duh. We all do. But you know that part of you is hoping for one sex or another.

So though I'm thrilled our baby is healthy and growing strong, part of me was disappointed when the ultrasound tech said "it's a boy!"

It took me a few days to wrap my head around it. I love our baby no matter what. But I really don't know what to do with a boy. I mean, I get girls. I lived it. And their clothes are so much cuter.

I was feeling like a horrible mother until a good friend confided that she felt the same way with her first. It's funny to feel sad about something so joyous. But there it was anyway. A twinge of disappointment. What gives?

It took some serious soul-searching before I realized that I wasn't mourning having a boy, I was mourning not being able to experience my own mother-daughter relationship. I have an incredible relationship with my mom. I assumed that what makes our bond great is that we're mother and daughter. But really it's that we're mother and child.

I can still take everything I learned from my mom and give it to my son. It isn't a relationship exclusive to mothers and daughters. But it's really the only one I know.

Registry Woes

Ben and I spent two hours at Target last night registering for baby. Considering there are only eight aisles of baby items, that's a really long time! There are just so many choices. Like literally an entire aisle of bottles. An entire aisle! How the hell are you supposed to pick?

To register for a baby you should be required to bring a veteran mom with you. Someone who can say, "nope, that's crap, you'll never use it" or "you need one of these, fo sho".

We managed to compile a decent list, but still, it was exausting. No where near as fun as when we registered for our wedding.

O Negative = A Positive

Get it? A positive? As in a good thing? I crack myself up.

We got Ben's blood results back. He's O negative, so we shouldn't have to get the Rhogam shot at 28 weeks. Woo hoo!

As I mentioned in a previous post, the Rhogam shot is standard practice for all Rh negative mothers. As my doctor explained it, it's cheaper to vaccinate every Rh negative mother than to have their partners' blood types tested. But that just didn't seem right to me. What if Ben and I had compatible blood types?

Now I'm not anti-vaccine. I got my flu shots as recommended, and I fully intend to vaccinate our child. Plus, Rhogam is vital when it's really needed. It prevents the mother's immune system from attacking her baby's red blood cells (if the baby is Rh positive).

What I have a problem with is doing something "just because." Blindly accepting a vaccine that may or may not be needed seemed crazy to me. Not everyone fits the same mold, in pregnancy or otherwise.

Apparently having kids makes you unhappy

Marketplace had a great editorial last night on happiness and parenthood. Apparently, adults with children report being less happy than their peers without children. Regardless of gender, marital status, religion, income or education level. Regardless of whether their kids are young or out of the house. Adults with children are statistically unhappier throughout their lives.

Hmmmm. A little concerning to the six month pregnant woman who has really enjoyed life to date.

The journalist argues that happiness is just one component of a "good life." And perhaps children offer a sense of fulfillment that isn't explicitly captured when a survey asks how happy you are.

Despite being an excited soon-to-be-mother, I know there are tough times ahead. Sleeping in and eating out will soon be things of the past. There will be significantly less money. And I am fully handing myself over to the needs of a small, squirming, helpless person.

So why do it? Why give up quality time with my husband, late nights with my girlfriends, disposable income and a flat stomach?

I guess I don't really know how to answer that. Other than I know in my heart that I want to be a mother. I want to have babies with my kind, funny, handsome, wonderful husband. And I want to give the unconditional love and support that I receive from my mother to my own children.

As parents we may be less happy. But the journalist challenges us to ask a different question. Knowing what you know now, would you still choose to have kids?

For most parents, the answer is still a resounding yes.

Happy Mother's Day.

Why water birth is the coolest

Ben and I had our water birth orientation and birth place tour last night. The nurses were fantastic, and it was great to see where the actual labor and delivery will take place.

My hospital (Mercy Medical Center) has done about 50 water births since 2007. That number seemed low to me (probably because I think the concept is so incredibly cool). But to do a water birth you can't have an epidural, which likely eliminates a huge portion of the birthing population.

Some of the benefits that really spoke to me:

• Water birth speeds up labor
• Water birth allows the mother to feel more in control
• Water birth provides significant pain relief and promotes relaxation
• Water birth conserves energy
• Water birth reduces the need for drugs and other interventions
• Water birth reduces perineal trauma and eliminates episiotomies
• Water birth encourages an easier birth for mother and a gentler welcome for baby

Right on.

Bump Watch

Getting bigger every day! Here's 24 weeks.

I'm holding the dress tight so you can actually see the bump, but this is one of my favorite outfits. The dress has an empire waist, with super cute pleating in the front.

My new greatest thrill is wearing non-maternity clothes that can accomodate my growing belly. This dress is just one of those items. Hopefully it still fits in a few weeks... I'd like to wear it to my cousin Jenny's wedding.

The "It's Always Sunny" Baby

I love It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. It's just so damn funny.

But who knew that Mac and Dee were an item in real life? They too are expecting a boy in August. Her "easy" pregnancy seems to mimic my own. And incidentally our son is also "really handsome." I'm going to pretend we're pregnancy BFFs.

Stella's New Ride

Check it out... Stella's got a sweet new ride!

As it turns out, baby and Great Dane do not fit easily in the back of four door sedan. So we traded in the 2002 Honda Accord (tear, she was a good car), and got this much roomier 2007 Buick Rendevous (which we lovingly refer to as "Ze Vous").

Stella is a little sad that she can't stick her head directly out of the window, but she's figured out a viable alternative.